Saturday, 2 July 2016

Catwoman, Volume 6: Keeper of the Castle Review (Genevieve Valentine, Garry Brown)

I’d have put money on Genevieve Valentine’s Catwoman being head and shoulders above Ann Nocenti’s appalling run because nothing - nothing - could be THAT bad… and I’d have lost that money - Catwoman still sucks!

In Batman Eternal, Selina Kyle discovered she was related to the Calabrese crime family and now she’s the head and trying to run all the crime families in Gotham. The book follows the in-fighting that goes with all mob stories with Batman villains Black Mask and Penguin doing stuff in the background. 

Catwoman, Volume 6: Keeper of the Castle reads like a bargain basement Godfather knockoff. This barely feels like a Catwoman book. To call it boring is to redefine the word - this was beyond boring. None of the characters are interesting, nor is any aspect of the story. Not that there is much of a story: crime families fighting each other is all it is. There’s no real beginning, middle or end, it’s just that same mundane crap throughout so there’s no buildup to any sort of finale. 

Some Asian chick is suddenly Catwoman for no reason. Her character is that she has a tattoo that’s unfinished - enthralling stuff, eh? She and Catwoman kiss for no reason except for some cheap reader titillation - there wasn’t any indication of a romance there it was just randomly dropped into the story. That’s it. And, at the start of each issue, why not throw some quotes from Queen Elizabeth I’s letters or Sun Tzu to make it seem like you’re not reading dogshit?? 

Don’t let the beautiful neo-Gothic Jae Lee covers fool you - inside is Garry Brown’s scratchy, unappealing art to perfectly complement Valentine’s craptastic script! 

I can’t believe Ann Nocenti left Catwoman and the series hasn’t improved one iota. Don’t read Genevieve Valentine’s Catwoman if you’re looking for quality entertainment, turn a fan on some dust bunnies and watch that instead - that’s more riveting and intellectually stimulating than this drivel!

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