Batman: Dark Patterns Review (Dan Watters, Hayden Sherman)

Batman: Dark Patterns is 12 issues of the dumbest Batman comics you’ll ever read.

It’s made up of four 3 issue story arcs, loosely connected to no effect, each increasingly stupid and more pointless.

Batman, Volume 1: Daylight Review (Matt Fraction, Jorge Jimenez)

In a weird tag-team move, Matt Fraction has taken over Batman from his Sex Criminals co-creator/artist Chip Zdarsky, so both the artist and writer of Sex Crimz have written Batman runs one after the other! What’s that aboot!?

Absolute Batman, Volume 2: Abomination Review (Scott Snyder, Nick Dragotta)

Batman’s pal Matches Malone tells him about a black site called Ark M where a mysterious company called JK run by a man in white (gee I wonder who that could be) is conducting evil and highly illegal Dr Moreau-style experiments on people. As Batman investigates, he encounters his most lethal foe yet: Baaaaaane!

Batman: Night Cries Review (Archie Goodwin, Scott Hampton)

Someone is killing child molesters in Gotham - and, according to one of the child victims, it’s Batman! Has everything the Dark Knight’s seen finally tipped him over the edge into becoming a murdering vigilante?

Batman: Detective Comics, Volume 1: Gotham Nocturne: Overture Review (Ram V, Rafael Albuquerque)

Some evil magical dude who thinks he owns Gotham is coming to Gotham to take ownership of Gotham with some other evil magical dudes. Guess Batman’s gonna punch some evil magical dudes? Buh huh.

Not all Batman comics are slop but unfortunately quite a few are, including this one.

Batman #1 Review (Matt Fraction, Jorge Jimenez)

The main Batman title has been in a creative funk ever since the end of Tom King’s run. James Tynion IV and Chip Zdarsky have both had runs on the series that were terrible and forgettable, so I’m glad DC have hired Matt Fraction, a writer who’s actually written some great comics, to attempt bringing this title back to its former glory.

Absolute Batman, Volume 1: The Zoo Review (Scott Snyder, Nick Dragotta)

Absolute Batman has been DC’s biggest hit comic of the past year - and I’m not really sure why as it’s quite… meh.

It’s a striking redesign, I’ll give it that. The thinking behind the look seems to be “What if Batman looked like Bane at peak venom usage?” He’s more massive in this series than he’s ever been elsewhere. And he’s got… what are those things on his hands, umbrellas?!

Batman: Detective Comics, Volume 1: Mercy of the Father Review (Tom Taylor, Mikel Janin)

Someone’s targeting young offenders straight outta juvie - their corpses found drained of blood! Batman’s gotta solve the case, etc.

Fresh from his success reinvigorating Nightwing, Tom Taylor’s taken over the iconic Detective Comics title for a run that starts underwhelmingly with Mercy of the Father.

Batman: Off-World Review (Jason Aaron, Doug Mahnke)

Deep space. A crew’s vessel is alerted to an alien intruder onboard. The alien is tricksy, zips around the spacecraft, picking off its crew one by one. The alien is called… Batman?

Batman, Volume 4: Dark Prisons Review (Chip Zdarsky, Jorge Jimenez)

Batman’s in prison because… And Zur is in Failsafe and he’s Batman because… Then Absolute Poo-er means more robots and Batman’s gotta… Yeah, so Batman the series is in shit shape. Chip Zdarsky’s run has been about as bad, if not worse, than Tynion’s, and DC needs to change things sharpish.

The Bat-Man: First Knight Review (Dan Jurgens, Mike Perkins)

Batman and the blimmin monster men. If I’d known that’s what The Bat-Man: First Knight was, I never would’ve picked it up. Well, in for a penny, etc. so I pushed through once I realised what it was and, yup, this retelling is about as good as the others, ie. gahbage, see?

Absolute Batman #1 Review (Scott Snyder, Nick Dragotta)

Ever wonder what if Batman were built like an anime tough guy with umbrellas for hands? And what if Alfred was The Punisher? No money, no gadgets, no Robin - no problem. It’s time to get alternative universe-y with Absolute Batman!

Batman, Volume 3: The Joker Year One Review (Chip Zdarsky, Jorge Jimenez)

After boring readers with his tedious recounting of how Bruce Wayne learned the skills in his youth to become Batman (he trained with masters of multiple disciplines around the world - whodathunkit!?) in The Knight, Chip Zdarsky does a truncated version of that same, needless story with The Joker. Yup, unfortunately Zdarsky’s Batman run still isn’t improving in this third volume, The Joker Year One.

Batman/Dylan Dog Review (Roberto Recchioni, Gigi Cavenego)

Batman’s had more than his share of crossovers over the years and at this point DC are scraping the bottom of the barrel with this latest one. That’s right, it’s the crossover nobody asked for, featuring a character most English comics readers will be thinking “...who?”: Dylan Dog.

Batman: The Knight Review (Chip Zdarsky, Carmine Di Giandomenico)

We’re living in a particularly uncreative era for art where a great deal of what’s being produced by the big companies is an endless raft of unwanted prequels, sequels, spinoffs and remakes rather than imaginative original stories and challenging ideas. So here’s another useless prequel: Batman: The Knight!

Batman: City of Madness by Christian Ward Review

There suddenly exists a distorted mirror version of Gotham called Gotham Below where everything’s a little bit spookier for no reason. Now it’s affecting the rogues in the real Gotham and Batman Below (who has tentacles coming out of his mouth for no reason) has kidnapped some kid to be his Robin for some reason. Batman and a Talon from the Court of Owls have to portal over to save the day. Yay…

The Penguin, Volume 1: The Prodigal Bird Review (Tom King, Roberto de la Torre)

With Penguin dead and loving it, his kids have filled the power vacuum he left behind in Gotham. Except (shock) Pengy isn’t dead - he’s retired incognito to Metropolis, living the quiet life. Except (shock) he isn’t - the Feds want him back in the game for reasons. Pingu’s gotta assemble a crew and take back Gotham. Just when he thought he was out, yadda yadda wak…

Batman: The Brave and the Bold: The Winning Card Review (Tom King, Mitch Gerads)

The Winning Card is a retelling of Batman and Joker’s first encounter. In Tom King/Mitch Gerads’ version, Joker’s threatening to kill prominent members of Gotham society - and pulling it off, despite GCPD protection - but also targeting random civilians. Batman, still learning how to vigilante, must learn Joker’s methods to stop him from killing any more people.

Batman: One Bad Day - Clayface Review (Collin Kelly, Jackson Lanzing)

Clayface is posing as a wannabe actor in Hollywood, chasing his artistic dream rather than supervillaining it up in Gotham for a change. But when one of his compadres gets the part he wanted, will ol’ Basil be able to resist falling back into bad habits…?

The Riddler: Year One Review (Paul Dano, Stevan Subic)

Edward Nashton is a brilliant but underachieving and meek accountant who discovers his accountancy firm is laundering money for the mob but feels helpless to do anything. Which is why he becomes so fixated on the new masked vigilante that appears in Gotham: The Batman. He represents justice and positive change to all the wrongs Edward sees in his everyday life. But the obsession soon sours, warping Edward into the Riddler we meet in the 2022 movie.