Superman, Volume 6: Imperius Lex Review (Peter J. Tomasi, Patrick Gleason)

Lex booms the Superfam over to Apokolips to become its saviour because Superman is somehow The Chosen One – yowzers, Peter J. Tomasi and Patrick Gleason sure are imaginative, original writers! Why does Lex suddenly care about Apokolips’ wellbeing? Because contrived bullshit. Tomasi/Gleason are horrible writers, they don’t need reasons! He might’ve had reasons but I was beyond bored to notice. And Lex is bopping around in a Superman armor these days and pretending to be good so the reason was probably equally dumb and uncharacteristic anyway.

Red Hood and the Outlaws, Volume 1: Dark Trinity Review (Scott Lobdell, Dexter Soy)

So, even though I know Scott Lobdell is one of the worst comics writers ever, all I heard from friends was how boss the Rebirth Red Hood and the Outlaws was. Uh huh. Suuuuure it is. And, nuh uh to your uh huh, this wasn’t even half-good! Is everyone on crack? Am I?!

Batman, Volume 6: Bride or Burglar Review (Tom King, Mikel Janin)

When a Baaaaat loves a (Cat)woman… !

The wedding’s right around the corner but there’s more adventures to be had first! Batman, Volume 6: Bride or Burglar? collects four stories of differing length. And, as usual, Tom King’s done it again, producing yet another corking Batman book!

Batman, Volume 5: Rules of Engagement Review (Tom King, Joelle Jones)

The Bat finally popped the question to the Cat and now they’re getting hitched. Which means Bruce has gotta do the banal things many single fathers do when they remarry: meet with the ex, have a talk with his kid about his new soon-to-be stepmother and break the happy news to his friends. But Bruce is not an ordinary person so these tasks inevitably involve taking on a small army of silent soldiers, breaking UN agreements and sword-fighting in the desert with a lunatic!

Superman Volume 1: The Unity Saga: Phantom Earth Review (Brian Michael Bendis, Ivan Reis)

Oh Brian Bendyman, the rule is that you start titles well and then taper off into forgettable dross after a few good books - you’re not meant to begin crappy! 

Superpants is sorta looking for Lois and Jon, whom his dead/hologram (I can’t keep up anymore) dad has taken on a great space coaster or something, before suddenly winding up in The Phantom Zone - along with Earth whaaa! 

Superman, Volume 2: Trials of the Super Son Review (Peter J. Tomasi, Patrick Gleason)

The second Rebirth Superman book surprisingly didn’t suck - it’s definitely a step up from the derivative Terminator-ripoff first volume - but Trials of the Super Son still never rose above middling. 

This one is a mish-mash of rando stories. Clark, Lois and Jon go to the local fair where Lois makes Clark promise not to Superman all evening so they can have a family night out together butguesswhathedoes… In another story, Superman, Jon and Krypto somehow get transported to an island full of living dinosaurs and World War 2 pilots where they fight a giant white gorilla - it’s fair to say that one’s a fucking mess! 

All-Star Batman, Volume 3: The First Ally Review (Scott Snyder, Rafael Albuquerque)

Scott Snyder’s All-Star Batman continues to be an ironically-named series with yet another sub-par entry in The First Ally. Alfred’s old mentor shows up to do something while Bruce is doing something else with a trio of his rogues - yeah, it’s not a great story. 

Dark Nights: Metal #1 Review (Scott Snyder, Greg Capullo)

Choo-choo, all aboard the stupid train to HotMessville! Celebrated New 52 Batman creative team Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo – or “Doom Commander” and “Pain Bringer” as they’ve bizarrely nicknamed themselves here like a pair of spergy ‘tards! - reunite for the sprawling event, Dark Nights: Metal. Unfortunately the low quality that plagued the tail end of their New 52 run hasn’t improved – Dark Nights: Metal #1 is rubbish! 

Doomsday Clock #1 Review (Geoff Johns, Gary Frank)

8 years after Watchmen… 

Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias’ warped plan to stop the Cold War has been exposed making him the most wanted man in the world. His empire fallen, Veidt is now in hiding. Meanwhile Rorschach’s journals have been published – except he’s been spotted walking the streets dispensing his unique brand of brutal justice! But Rorschach’s dead – isn’t he? And as talks break down between the US and Russia, World War 3 seems imminent. The Doomsday Clock is ticking again. Where is Dr Manhattan? And what does Superman have to do with all of this?

Batman, Volume 4: The War of Jokes and Riddles Review (Tom King, Mikel Janin)

The Joker’s lost his sense of humour and he’d kill to get it back - specifically Batman but also anyone standing in his way. Like The Riddler, whose ego won’t allow anyone else to take down Batman but him. And so the two go head to head in all-out war on the Gotham streets, roping in every villain in town in Batman, Volume 4: The War of Jokes and Riddles.

All-Star Batman, Volume. 2: Ends of the Earth Review (Scott Snyder, Jock)

Scott Snyder continues his Batman no-hitter streak he started with Endgame back in the New 52 with Rebirth’s All-Star Batman, Volume 2: Ends of the Earth. Time to take a break from the character, dude! Mister Freeze unleashes a necrotic black spot that decays everything it touches and Batman’s gotta etc. It’s soooo boring!

Batman/The Flash: The Button Review (Tom King, Joshua Williamson)

Batman/The Flash: The Button follows on from the end of last year’s DC Universe Rebirth #1 when Batman picked up The Comedian’s smiley-face badge in the Batcave. Here, Batman and Flash continue to investigate what the button means though it’s obvious that it’s teasing the Watchmen’s imminent appearance in the DC Universe. 

Batman: Detective Comics, Volume 2: The Victim Syndicate Review (James Tynion IV, Eddy Barrows)

A group of unintended casualties in Batman’s war on crime have banded together under the cringey name of The Victim Syndicate. If Batman doesn’t renounce his vigilante ways, they’ll make Gotham pay! Sigh… 

Batman, Volume 3: I Am Bane Review (Tom King, David Finch)

Following his daring raid on Bane’s island home of Santa Prisca, Batman has taken the Psycho Pirate back to restore Gotham Girl’s shattered mind. But with Bane hot on his heels, will Batman be able to keep him occupied for five days - or will Bane break the Bat once and for all? 

Justice League vs. Suicide Squad Review (Joshua Williamson, Rob Williams)

This shouldn’t really be a thing. I mean, forget the Justice League, Superman alone could take out the Suicide Squad! In fact, any one member of the League could do it - Wonder Woman, Flash, Batman (most of the SS are Batman rogues anyway). The Green Lantern rings are among the most powerful weapons in the DCU! So yeah, the premise is significantly flawed to begin with. 

Batman Beyond, Volume 1: Escaping the Grave Review (Dan Jurgens, Bernard Chang)

I’m giving Rebirth every chance here. Dan Jurgens has always been a shit writer, Batman Beyond is always a shit title, but maybe - just maybe - the Rebirth version of Dan Jurgens’ Batman Beyond will be good…? Nah. 

New Super-Man, Volume 1: Made in China Review (Gene Luen Yang, Viktor Bogdanovic)

This Chinese Superman book was one of the few Rebirth titles that genuinely intrigued me, not least because it featured the only original new character in the entire line - I know that’s deliberate though, that Rebirth is about bringing back classic characters/timelines, etc. So it’s disappointing that New Super-Man follows the Rebirth trend of being unreadable drek. 

Trinity, Volume 1: Better Together Review (Francis Manapul, Clay Mann)

Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman are the Trinity, DC’s three most popular, iconic superheroes. But mixing three great tastes doesn’t necessarily make them taste great together, as Trinity Rebirth proves. “Better Together”? Ha! 

Superwoman, Volume 1: Who Killed Superwoman? Review (Phil Jimenez, Joe Prado)

I’ve come across A LOT of dire, depressingly shitty books as I’ve made my way through DC’s Rebirth line and after finishing each one I’ve naively thought to myself “Well, that’s the worst of the bunch, that’s the bottom of the barrel - nothing’s gonna be worse than (Blank)!” The first was Aquaman. And then along came Nightwing. And then Titans. And then it snowballs as you realise in horror that most of the line is utter garbage. Deathstroke. Hellblazer. Cyborg. Blue bloody Beetle. 

Wonder Woman, Volume 2: Year One Review (Greg Rucka, Nicola Scott)

As Greg Rucka was writing two Wonder Woman storylines simultaneously, probably to keep the same artist for the duration of each arc, allowing them extra time to draw the issues while also sticking to DC’s double-shipping schedule, his second Wonder Woman Rebirth book doesn’t follow on from the first - instead it’s a retelling of her origin. For the umpteenth time. Sigh. While the title “Year One” references the classic Batman book of the same name, Wonder Woman: Year One is unfortunately nowhere near the same quality.