Saturday, 25 October 2014

Dead Body Road Review (Justin Jordan, Matteo Scalera)

The synopsis on the back of Dead Body Road is simply: “The men involved in his wife’s death must now die. All of them.” and yet I think even that seems to be over-explaining things. It should read instead “Guns go bang bang car hits people die die die fuck!”. That’s the level of superficiality we’re dealing with in Dead Body Road. 

This is the type of action story that even Nic Cage, who accepts every job offer thanks to his massive tax bill, would baulk at. From the first page, it’s non-stop action without any preamble. Some people rob a bank, some people die. Then one guy decides to kill a bunch of other guys. A woman decides to kill some people too, as do some bikers. They spend the entire book shooting guns at each other until enough of them die. 

This whole book passed me by in a blur of emotionless nothing. Here’s a shootout. Here’s a car chase. Here’s a bar fight. Here’s another shootout. And another. The book’s done. Oh. Was… was I in a coma? 

I couldn’t name a single character, or describe what the point of it all was. Someone was chasing money, someone was looking for a data something, some dude was out for revenge - it all smooshes together into a pile of crappy cliches anyway. 

I can’t emphasise enough how little effort is put into the “story” or “characters” in this book. It’s like a Fast and Furious movie without the cerebral parts - and there are no cerebral parts to the Fast and Furious movies! I’m simply staggered that Justin Jordan - who wrote the excellent Luther Strode books - wrote something this shallow AND it got published. It’s the most mundane action “story” you’ll ever read. 

I’m not a fan of Matteo Scalera’s art - it looks the same in every comic. His characters are interchangeable with one figure looking like another in Black Science or Indestructible Hulk or Dead Body Road. The designs are much too similar, particularly the faces, for me to get around. I will say though that he does action very well so he’s definitely a good fit for this type of story. 

If all you want to see - because this is all there is in this book - are car chases and gunfights without wanting to learn about why any of that is happening, who it’s happening to, or why you should care, get Dead Body Road. 

It’s one long forgettable and unexciting mindless action sequence - so it’s bound to be made into a lame Hollywood movie any day now!

Dead Body Road

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