STEEMIT!

HI EVERYONE! I'm still reviewing but not on this Blogger anymore. If you want to read my new reviews, they're being posted over on Steemit here: https://steemit.com/@noelthorne

Hope to see you there and if not thanks for reading anyways - cheers!

Superman: Action Comics #1000 Review (Brian Michael Bendis, Jim Lee)

80 years ago Superman was introduced to the world in Action Comics #1 - and we’ve been yawning ever since! 

Just kidding – Superman’s my favourite superhero after Batman - but I know a lot of people think he’s boring because he’s essentially a cross between a near-invincible god and a bland boy scout, and what the hell is interesting about that? Well, unfortunately Action Comics #1000 isn’t going to convince the naysayers otherwise and even a huge Superman fan like me found it to be a disappointing read. 

All-New Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 3: Infinity Quest Review (Gerry Duggan, Marcus To)

The Guardians is questing for them Infinity Stones but oh durn here come the new Nova Corps to pick ‘em up! And the new Corps has problems - not only are they seen as a joke after losing Thanos in transit, they’re also riddled with Shi’Ar spies! Former 30 Rock actor turned Nova Corps bossman, Scott Adsit, press gangs our heroes (and Ant-Man for some reason) into the Corps to root out the traitors. Also, some weirdo called Adam has just woken up from his golden cocoon… 

The Unbelievable Gwenpool, Volume 5: Lost in the Plot Review (Christopher Hastings, Gurihiru)

The Unbelievable Gwenpool has been one of my favourite Marvel titles of the last couple years. It’s an original, playful, imaginative, creative, and really fun read - essentially an anomaly for superhero comics! So it’s disappointing that the final book is crap.

Gwen decides to prove her worth as a hero by using her meta comic book powers to defeat Doom once and for all, then decides to be a villain by robbing a sky casino with Batroc, and then it’s over in a jumbled mess of forgettable gubbinz. Hmm. 

The Stranger in the Woods: The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit by Michael Finkel Review

In 1986, 20 year-old Chris Knight walked into the Maine woods and didn’t emerge for the next 27 YEARS! He made camp at a hidden spot near a place called North Pond and survived by repeatedly burglarising the surrounding cabins, most of which were uninhabited for much of the year. Astonishingly, he wasn’t caught until 2013 and up until then had become a local legend dubbed the North Pond Hermit. Journalist Michael Finkel interviewed Knight several times while he was awaiting sentencing and the end result is The Stranger in the Woods, as near a full account of Knight’s years in the wilderness as any we’re likely to get. 

All-New Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2: Riders in the Sky Review (Gerry Duggan, Greg Smallwood)

The gang be a-hunting them pesky Infinity Stones (doesn’t it feel like that’s what they’re always doing when they’re not heisting?) but only in the last chapter of the book. The rest of Volume 2 fills in the blanks from the first. Revealed!: why Gamora is fixated on the Soul Stone; how Groot lost his groove; why Drax is suddenly a pacifist; and who da hell is that Shi’Ar Raptor hungry for Star-Lord’s pair of Nega-Bands?? 

Gyo by Junji Ito Review

Japanese scientists in WW2 plugged up some animals’ mouths and anuses and attached them to mechanical legs which operated on the creatures’ built-up gases. Years later, fish have become fused with this tech and have invaded the mainland.

Yes. That is actually the actual story of this actual book. SO many questions. How did tech from WW2 survive in working order at the bottom of the sea for so long? Who fused them to fish? Why have the legged fish chosen to invade now? What’s their goal – why invade land, why target humans? If the hosts are dead, who’s steering them? How does this outdated tech know how to do sophisticated things like hide behind/steer around obstacles? 

The Judge Hunter by Christopher Buckley Review

It’s 20 years after Charles II’s Restoration and the old poleaxe is still seeking revenge against the surviving men who caused his pappy’s head to be separated from his shoulders (aka the fallout from the English Civil War). Two of the judges who found Charles I guilty of high treason have fled to the New World. Naval officer and future celebrated diarist Samuel Pepys decides that his annoying half-French brother-in-law, Baltasar “Balty” St. Michel, should be the man to bring the judges back, mostly as it gets him out of his hair! But Balty soon discovers that there’s more to his mission in the colonies than simply hunting down a couple of old men… 

Fantastic Four: 1234 Review (Grant Morrison, Jae Lee)

While Reed Richards is Deep In Thought, Victor Von Doom tries to dismantle the rest of the Fantastic Four - but is Reed as oblivious to Doom’s machinations as he appears? 

I’m definitely not a Fantastic Four fan but Grant Morrison is my favourite comics writer so curiosity drove me to check out this relatively obscure book from way back when he worked at Marvel before he began his DC tenure. So is 1234 any good? Eh… s‘ok. 

Ms. Marvel, Volume 7: Damage Per Second Review (G. Willow Wilson, Takeshi Miyazawa)

It inevitably happens to every long-running series and Volume 7: Damage Per Second is unfortunately where Ms Marvel’s quality falls down. And it falls HARD - this is the lamest thing I’ve read in a long time! 

The first issue is literally Ms Marvel lecturing the reader on how and why they should vote. I couldn’t believe how tedious and preachy it was. You know what I look for when I pick up a superhero comic? To be talked down to like an idiot! 

Xerxes: The Fall of the House of Darius and the Rise of Alexander #1 by Frank Miller Review

Frank Miller has a well-earned rep for delivering his projects late. Remember the ultra-crappy 300 sequel, Rise of an Empire, from 2014? Wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t – I saw it and I barely remember it! But that movie was based upon Xerxes, this comic, the first chapter of which has only just been published – 4 years after the movie was released!! I honestly thought Miller had scrapped the book entirely after missing the deadline by so long and the lacklustre response to the second movie effectively killed any remaining interest in the 300 franchise, but here it finally is. So was it worth the wait? Hell’s naw! This. Was. SHITTTTYYY (kicks comic into a pit in slo-mo)!

Deadpool vs. The Punisher Review (Fred Van Lente, Pere Perez)

Frank Castle follows the mob’s money to their head accountant, The Bank, and plans to deal organised crime a lethal blow by taking him out. The Bank also happens to be bros with Deadpool. Because see title of book. That’s right, it’s time for yet another “Deadpool Vs…” book and this time Marvel’s ever-popular chimichanga-chompin’ clown takes on ol’ grimpants skull-tee himself, The Punisher!

Nova: Resurrection Review (Jeff Loveness, Ramon Perez)

Legendary Nova Richard Rider returns to the Marvel Universe in Nova: Resurrection. But how did he escape the Cancerverse - and if he made it out, did anything else creep back with him…? 

Nova: Resurrection reads kinda like Green Lantern: Rebirth in that the Novas Corps are like Marvel’s Green Lantern Corps and Rich Rider is Marvel’s Hal Jordan - the best known character who wore the mantle, died, and got brought back. Except Jeff Loveness and Ramon Perez are both better storytellers than Geoff Johns so Nova: Resurrection is a finer book than Green Lantern: Rebirth - though not by much. 

All-New Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 1: Communication Breakdown Review (Gerry Duggan, Aaron Kuder)

I’ve not been keeping up with the Guardians of the Galaxy comics for a while now because Brian Bendis was writing them up until recently and that dude’s MO is to write a really strong first volume then tank the series for the rest of his run - which is exactly what he did with Guardians! Now that Bendis has left Marvel, Gerry Duggan’s taken over the title and… written the best damn Guardians comics ever?! Seriously, Communication Breakdown might be my favourite Guardians book to date! 

She-Hulk, Volume 1: Deconstructed Review (Mariko Tamaki, Nico Leon)

She-Hulk, Volume 1: Deconstructed takes its premise from Civil War II so if you’ve not read that event and wanna avoid spoilsies, check that out before this.

Years ago I used to think indie comics creators would write better superhero comics if given the chance. I’m pretty much completely turned around on that idea now, especially as indie comics creator Mariko Tamaki has written such a fucking awful She-Hulk here! 

Jessica Jones: Alias, Volume 4 Review (Brian Michael Bendis, Michael Gaydos)

Behold: the depressing origin of Jessica Jones! Plus: her traumatic past with Killgrave the Purple Man revealed! Yes, it’s a Marvel comic! 

I knew it – I knew there was a great Jessica Jones book to be had somewhere! The first one was ok, the second and third were entirely superfluous (Jessica looks for a runaway teen girl in Vol 2; Jessica looks for a drugged-out runaway teen girl in Vol 3), but this fourth one is where it’s at. 

Cochlea & Eustachia #1 by Hans Rickheit Review

A man with a teddy bear head kills a bird, removes a key from its chest to open a door in his face to a labyrinthine house containing a corridor filled with thousands of lobsters, strange plants, corpses hanging from the ceiling, a large room full of batwinged creatures and a pair of near-naked twins called Cochlea & Eustachia. Yup, it’s a Hans Rickheit comic alright!

Doomsday Clock #4 Review (Geoff Johns, Gary Frank)

It’s that time of the bi-month again as Geoff Johns and Gary Frank return with another unexciting and unnecessarily ponderous instalment of their Watchmen sequel, Doomsday Clock! So is it good yet? Nah. In fact I think this is the weakest issue so far. 

Doomsday Clock #4 is all about the new Rorschach, Reggie, with Johns showing us how he’s currently doing in Arkham Asylum, courtesy of Batman, and how he did in the Watchmen world in still another mental home (ol’ Reg had a breakdown after his parents died in Ozymandias’ alien monster scheme). 

My Hero Academia, Volume 1 by Kohei Horikoshi Review

Kids with superpowers go to superhero school to be taught by existing superheroes how to be superheroes. So it’s the X-Men? Yup. Except way shittier! And that’s My Hero Academia! Boo! I give it an F! 

It really is that derivative, at least going by this first volume. Creator/writer/artist Kohei Horikoshi basically rips off the X-Men. He calls mutations/superpowers “quirks” in a feeble attempt to make it seem less blatant but that’s about the only thing different he brings to the table. 

Baking with Kafka by Tom Gould Review

An orangutan wins the TS Eliot Prize for Poetry - OUTRAGEOUS! The errors commonly made by inexperienced murder-mystery novelists - WAHAHAHAHA! The health hazards of becoming an author - the money and fame?! HILARIOUS!!!!?2o29289qwr

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness Review

Conor’s got quite the chipper existence: his ma is dying, his da lives in America with his new family, he’ll probably wind up living with his hated grandma and he’s getting bullied at school. As if that wasn’t bad enough he begins to be visited every night at seven minutes past midnight by a monster who’s going to tell him three stories. After that, Conor’s got to tell the monster one - a true story, about something that Conor’s been avoiding. This book is also based on an idea by author Siobhan Dowd who died of breast cancer before being able to realise it so Patrick Ness stepped in to write it. Cripes. Don’t read A Monster Calls if you’re looking for a pick-me-up! 

Swamp Thing: The Dead Don't Sleep Review (Len Wein, Kelley Jones)

The dead may not sleep but you will if you read this booooorinnnnggg Swamp Thing book! 

I’m sorry to speak ill of the recently deceased but Len Wein (RIP) was not a good writer. He wrote in this clunky, corny (oh lordy, SO CORNY!) ‘70s style which was heavy on the exposition, none of which added anything to the already piss-poor narrative. He’s hopeless at dialogue too - all the characters here sound like moustache-twirling pantomime villains. 

He didn’t have any good stories to tell in this one. Some zombie fights Swamp Thing for, somehow, two entire issues, then Anton Arcane takes Swampy’s powers to try to take over the world or something crap like that. It’s sad to read, honestly, because it feels like DC gave Wein this gig out of pity. 

Couple Wein’s ‘70s writing with Kelley Jones’ ‘90s-style art that’s going for horror but comes off as laughably silly as Wein’s dumbass script and you’ve got one helluva anachronistic read for this 2016 comic. 

I could go on but it isn’t worth it. Nor is reading it! Do literally anything else but read this utter garbagefest of a comic. DC should be embarrassed they published something this bad. Then again, they’re DC = (Colour Hair) Don’t Care. And neither should you!

All-New Wolverine, Volume 5: Orphans of X Review (Tom Taylor, Juann Cabal)

Lost a loved one to a Wolverine? Join the Orphans of X! The aim? To hunt down and kill all Wolverines using material gleaned from the magical Muramasa blade, that neutralises the Wolverines’ healing factors. 

So does they do it - nuh buh muh huh guh? Sorry, my brain shut down at the astoopidity of that question! The real question should be: is it at least a somewhat entertaining read before Laura and co. inevitably beat them? Eh, kinda… 

Miles Morales: Ultimate Spider-Man, Volume 2: Revelations Review (Brian Michael Bendis, David Marquez)

Miles and a newly-resurrected Peter Parker take on a newly-resurrected Green Goblin - AGAIN! - before Miles finds out his girlfriend Katie Bishop’s “shocking” family secret. And speaking of secret, Secret Wars abruptly puts an end to this series, forcing Brian Bendis to awkwardly slam the brakes on his (admittedly absolute shite) storylines. Ta-da…

The Missing Girl by Shirley Jackson Review

Penguin seems to release a new range of dinky paperbacks every year now for one flimsy reason or another. This Penguin Modern series is to celebrate Penguin Modern Classics’ 50th Anniversary or something - meh. I guess these tiny books do serve as fairly decent amuse-bouches of a writer’s style but, as someone familiar with her books, Shirley Jackson’s The Missing Girl isn’t the best representative of her excellent craft.

Moon Over Soho by Ben Aaronovitch Review

Vampiric witches are preying on London’s most gifted jazz musicians – Peter Grant, the Fuzz’s newest (and only) apprentice magic cop, is on the case! 

Moon Over Soho is a bit of a disappointing follow-up to Ben Aaronovitch’s spectacular Rivers of London and I think I know why. Rivers of London had two barnstorming storylines running parallel throughout – the Mr Punch murders and the River Gods’ gang warfare – as well as Peter learning about the hidden magical side of London; there was never a dull moment as Aaronovitch jumped from one to the other. 

My Brother's Husband, Volume 1 by Gengoroh Tagame Review

Single dad Yaichi’s estranged gay brother recently passed away. In the wake of his death, his burly, friendly Canadian husband, Mike, has come to Japan to finally meet his brother-in-law and niece for the first time. Mike’s presence forces Yaichi to confront his own deeply-buried prejudices about gay people, as well as address his strangely emotionless and lonely life. 

Spider-Man: Miles Morales, Volume 3 Review (Brian Michael Bendis, Nico Leon)

It’s time for another edition of Brian Bendis Attempts To Obliterate My Interest in Miles Morales! In (good grief) Volume 3, the increasingly uninspired writer finds the laziest pseudo-storylines on which to hang his copious amounts of uninteresting, soapy melodrama!

Arkham Asylum: Living Hell Review (Dan Slott, Ryan Sook)

A crooked banker (is there any other kind?) thinks he’s being clever by having his trial moved to Gotham where he’s found not guilty by way of insanity. Except in Gotham? The crazies go to a place called Arkham Asylum, a Living Hell that makes Federal prison look like a cakewalk!

Spider-Man: Miles Morales, Volume 2 Review (Brian Michael Bendis, Nico Leon)

Hmm. Yeah, unfortunately the post-Secret Wars Miles Morales stuff isn’t an improvement over the post-Cataclysm crap. Event comics have completely ruined this character. And if that wasn’t enough, here comes another one in the form of Civil War II to compound the fuck-up! Jesus, what a mess Brian Bendis ended up making of poor Miles’ series. 

The Walking Dead, Volume 29: Lines We Cross Review (Robert Kirkman, Charlie Adlard)

Ah, the reliable roller-coaster of quality that is The Walking Dead! After the spectacular rush of Volume 28 comes the expected long, tedious build-up to the next bit of excitement with table-setting being the order of the day in Volume 29: Lines We Cross. 

Spider-Men Review (Brian Michael Bendis, Sara Pichelli)

Because bullhonky, Mysterio somehow creates a device that opens a portal to the Ultimates universe where (I think 616-Universe) Peter Parker gets zapped and meets Miles Morales aka Ultimate Spider-Man. They have some conveniently book-sized ‘ventures before the status quo is reinstated. And that’s Spider-Men. Any good? Nah. NEXT! 

Superman, Volume 2: Trials of the Super Son Review (Peter J. Tomasi, Patrick Gleason)

The second Rebirth Superman book surprisingly didn’t suck - it’s definitely a step up from the derivative Terminator-ripoff first volume - but Trials of the Super Son still never rose above middling. 

This one is a mish-mash of rando stories. Clark, Lois and Jon go to the local fair where Lois makes Clark promise not to Superman all evening so they can have a family night out together butguesswhathedoes… In another story, Superman, Jon and Krypto somehow get transported to an island full of living dinosaurs and World War 2 pilots where they fight a giant white gorilla - it’s fair to say that one’s a fucking mess! 

Miles Morales: Ultimate Spider-Man, Volume 1: Revival Review (Brian Michael Bendis, David Marquez)

Weeellll, it had to happen eventually didn’t it? Brian Bendis’ surprisingly-consistent run of near-faultless Miles Morales comics comes to an end with this newly-renumbered title launched in the wake of the Ultimates event, Cataclysm. Miles Morales: Ultimate Spider-Man, Volume 1: Revival is unfortunately pretty crap. 

The Home Crowd Advantage by Ben Aaronovitch Review

The Home Crowd Advantage is a Peter Grant short story that apparently takes place between Book 1: Rivers of London and Book 2: Moon Over Soho, though, having just read the first book, I’m not sure if it has any bearing on the second; it reads like a standalone for anyone who’s familiar with this world. 

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man, Volume 5 Review (Brian Michael Bendis, David Marquez)

I thought the ending to the last book was abrupt - this book opens with the words “One Year Later”!!

As you can tell from the homage cover to John Romita’s iconic art, Miles has given up being Spidey. His family is completely ruined - the price of being a superhero is just too high. But, dammit, the world needs Spider-Man and everyone from his bestie Ganke to Spider-Woman Jessica Drew is out to convince Miles to put the web-shooters back on and start saving people again! 

Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch Review

Peter Grant is the London Metropolitan Police’s newest recruit, hoping for a fun, rewarding placement that’s not gonna stick him behind a desk filling out endless paperwork. Which he almost gets until a chance encounter with a ghost one night in Covent Garden introduces him to Detective Chief Inspector (read: Most Powerful Wizard in Ingerlund) Thomas Nightingale, the head - and up to that moment, the only member - of the Met’s secret paranormal branch. Together, the sorcerer and his apprentice set out to stop the malicious spirit of Mr Punch (yes, the puppet!) from murdering Londoners and resolve a turf war between the Thames river gods. 

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man, Volume 4 Review (Brian Michael Bendis, David Marquez)

Miles continues to learn the ropes (or should that be webbing?) of being Spider-Man as he encounters the tiresomely inevitable Spidey rogue, Venom, and realises that With Great Power Comes Great Tragedy… 

Volume 4 is another homer for Brian Bendis and co. in their amazing Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man run! I really enjoyed seeing the Ultimate versions of familiar characters like the mercenary Betty Brant, the embarrassingly chic Ben Urich and the surprisingly likeable Jonah, whose crusty exterior has softened in the wake of Peter Parker’s death. 

Ghosted, Volume 1: Haunted Heist Review (Joshua Williamson, Goran Sudzuka)

A group of paranormal experts assemble for a heist on a haunted house. Their target? A ghostie! 

Ghosted, Volume 1: Haunted Heist wasn’t bad but definitely had its flaws. I was going to summarise it as “a spooky Ocean’s 11” except that would imply the team was made up of necessary specialists and I wasn’t convinced that that’s what they were. 

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man, Volume 3 Review (Brian Michael Bendis, David Marquez)

Uncle Prowler knows that his nephew Miles is the new Spider-Man and plans to blackmail him into his enforcer for his takeover of the NYC criminal underworld – but will Miles go along with it? Also, HYDRA attempt a second American Revolution as their ranks go toe-to-toe with SHIELD in open warfare and Cap gets made President of the United States?!

The True Death of Billy the Kid by Rick Geary Review

Copkiller. American Robin Hood. World-famous outlaw. Western legend. This is the story of William H. Bonney aka Billy the Kid, infamous for the murders of several lawmen and shot dead by federal agents in 1881 aged just 21 years old. 

Ultimate Spider-Man, Volume 1: Power and Responsibility Review (Brian Michael Bendis, Mark Bagley)

Saddle up, buckaroos - it’s another re-telling of the Petey Parker/Spider-Pants origin story! Brian Bendyman goes through the well-worn checklist: nerdy bully-magnet Peter gets bit by a magic spider, gets superpowers, doesn’t use them to stop crime, loses his Uncle Ben (the non-rice guy), and learns that With Great Blahblah Comes Blah Blahblah. And then decides to punch Norman Osborn who’s transformed himself into the Green Wheelie Bin!

Demon, Volume 4 by Jason Shiga Review

It’s Jimmy and Sweetpea vs Hunter for the fate of the world in the last book in Jason Shiga’s Demon series. And it’s an absolute corker to go out on!

Bottled by Chris Gooch Review

Twentysomething Jane wants to move out of her increasingly-toxic parents’ house but doesn’t have the cash for a deposit. Then her bestie from high school turned rich’n’famous H&M model, Natalie, comes back to town and, following some shocking revelations, Jane begins plotting a dark and bitter plan to get what she needs…

Snow Day Review (Pierre Wazem, Antoine Aubin)

A smalltown sheriff gets fed up with being pushed around by the drunken louts employed by the corrupt local businessman and mayor and one day decides to push back. You can’t break the cold by breaking the thermometer… 

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man, Volume 2 Review (Brian Michael Bendis, Sara Pichelli)

Though he’s only been Spider-Man for a New York minute, Miles Morales’ secret is already out – his uncle Aaron knows that he’s the new webslinger! But the unmasking and secret-identity-reveals doesn’t stop there as Miles discovers his uncle Aaron is the super-thief, the Prowler! The question is: what will shady Uncle Prowler do with this valuable intel…?

Spider-Woman, Volume 2: New Duds Review (Dennis Hopeless, Javier Rodriguez)

Jessica Drew may be taking a break from the Avengers to pursue a career as a Private Investigator but her superhero past isn’t taking a break from her! Someone’s blackmailing Z-list supervillains into committing crimes and the unlikely duo of Spider-Woman and Daily Bugle star reporter Ben Urich are on the case.

Terry Pratchett's Discworld Imaginarium by Paul Kidby Review

Terry Pratchett's Discworld Imaginarium is a beautifully-produced art book featuring the remarkable work of Discworld illustrator Paul Kidby.

Kidby took over from the original Discworld covers artist, Josh Kirby, after Kirby’s death in 2001. And it’s because I grew up with the Kirby-illustrated Discworld covers that Kidby’s art never felt like the “real” Discworld to me but his skill and vision is undeniable.

Irmina by Barbara Yelin Review

Set in 1930s England, Irmina, a young German exchange student, befriends Howard, a black scholarship student from Barbados attending Oxford, but money problems force her back to Germany, prematurely ending their burgeoning relationship. Before she can make it back to England, WW2 kicks off – will the two ever see each other again?

My Twentieth Century Evening and Other Small Breakthroughs: The Nobel Lecture by Kazuo Ishiguro Review

My Twentieth Century Evening and Other Small Breakthroughs is Kazuo Ishiguro’s speech from when he was awarded the 2017 Nobel Prize for Literature. It takes the form of a truncated career retrospective/autobiography, touching upon the creation of his more well-known books like The Remains of the Day and Never Let Me Go.