Sunday, 4 June 2017

Justice League vs. Suicide Squad Review (Joshua Williamson, Rob Williams)

This shouldn’t really be a thing. I mean, forget the Justice League, Superman alone could take out the Suicide Squad! In fact, any one member of the League could do it - Wonder Woman, Flash, Batman (most of the SS are Batman rogues anyway). The Green Lantern rings are among the most powerful weapons in the DCU! So yeah, the premise is significantly flawed to begin with. 

But don’t worry because hack writer Joshua Williamson compounds this garbage with contrivance: apparently the Justice League have only just realised Suicide Squad/Task Force X is a thing and they want to stop them. Even though the Squad have been around for years and Rebirth is supposedly a return to canon, it’s also kind of a starting point… I don’t know why I try and make sense of trash like this. It’s a flaming hot mess as usual! 

Williamson and co. spend nearly 300 pages (overlong by half) throwing characters at one another in a pointless, unoriginal and uninteresting fashion constructed around a stereotypical “bad guy wants to take over the world” plot. Maybe drooling idiots with barely double digit IQs reading the speech bubbles with their fingers might find this entertaining but I feel like most people will be as deeply bored as I was. 

All the book made me realise was how little I care about Amanda Waller and Killer Frost (who are what the story turns out to be centred around) and how few quality epic villains DC have. Max Lord, Eclipso? Nope. Like the other Rebirth crossover book, Night of the Monster Men, Justice League vs. Suicide Squad is utter drivel from start to finish. 

But I’m smiling as I type this because this book marks the end of a foolishly self-imposed months-long journey through DC’s Rebirth line. AAAAAAHHHHHHH IT’S FINALLY OVERRRR!!! I do appreciate DC giving me access to dozens of their books but it’s like throwing open the doors to a dodgy Vegas buffet and saying you can have all you can eat; most of it is tasteless, unappetising diarrhea fuel so it’s not the treat it looks like at first! 

I’m gonna stick with Tom King’s Batman and Scott Snyder’s All-Star Batman - the only two Rebirth titles I enjoyed. TWO!! - and I might check out the one or two new Rebirth books coming out later in the year (Batwoman might be ok?) but I’m basically done with Rebirth. THANK. FUCK. FOR THAT! And I don’t recommend trudging through Rebirth to anyone either. Time for some adult beverages - I think I’ve earned it. Cheers, everyone!

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