Thursday, 22 June 2017

Jessica Jones, Volume 1: Uncaged! Review (Brian Michael Bendis, Michael Gaydos)

So after reading this book I can confidently say I don’t give a fudgey-fudge about Jessica Jones! 

JJ’s in prison for some reason! Her marriage to Luke Cage is on the skids and she’s hidden her baby with her ma for some reason! Intrigue? Mystery? Snores!

As I’ve only read the first JJ book, Alias, way back when (it centred around a VHS tape that revealed Steve Rogers was Captain America - yeah, it was a loooong time ago!), I wondered if I’d missed a bunch of stuff which explained why she was in the hoosegow and fighting with Cage; but nah, it’s all new stuff for this book. Compelling? Not really. More like confusing and mildly annoying.

And, honestly, I couldn’t care less about the state of her marriage or her prison crap especially as it’s all part and parcel of a convoluted plan with Captain Marvel to capture some no-name villain who wants to do generically evil stuff. As usual Brian Bendis crams the pages with too much dialogue and too little character action. JJ’s “bad girl” schtick is so forced here too while everyone else comes off as bland. Bore-pants!

The original Alias artist Michael Gaydos (giggles immaturely) is back and, yeah, I still don’t love his art. It’s coarse and rough and irritating. And it gets everywhere! … Alright, maybe quoting that cinematic masterpiece Attack of the Clones isn’t 100% accurate but you know what I mean. It looks as goopy and unappealing as George Lucas’s writing. The David Mack covers are pretty baller though.

One part of the story intrigued me: the subplot about the murderer who claims to remember life in a different universe. He says he knows about superheroes conspiring to blow up other universes to save their own, referencing Jonathan Hickman’s Illuminati storyline in New Avengers that culminated in Secret Wars. Who is this dude and how does he have this knowledge? I wish we had those answers in this book because I’m not interested enough to keep reading this series to find out.

Jessica Jones, Volume 1: Uncaged! is yawners. I recommend doing the dishes instead. Or maybe reading the original Alias series. Either way don’t bother with this one.

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