Saturday, 26 March 2016

Cyborg, Volume 1: Unplugged Review (David F. Walker, Ivan Reis)


Wow, that SUCKED! I don’t know what it is with DC Comics but they seem to think their audience can’t get enough limb-chopping so, if that’s your thing, you are gonna love Cyborg, Volume 1: Unplugged (and no he’s not playing an acoustic session. ‘Cos his arms have been done cut off!). 

Vic Stone/Cyborg’s cybernetics are evolving which has drawn a group of evil aliens from the future called Technosapiens to Earth, to “absorb all of humanity into their collective” (as the blurb says) which is nothing at all like the Borg from Star Trek. Joining Cyborg in the fight against the DC Borg are the Tekbreakers, freedom-fighting humans from the dystopian future, not at all like in Terminator! Will Cyborg do something to save the world? Buh… chop limb off?

The storyline is so, so dull! David F. Walker can’t wring an ounce of excitement from it despite its Hollywood sci-fi action premise. It comes off as flat and uninteresting from the get-go and never once improves throughout. Vic is a flat-line as a main character. He is absolutely the most boring person in the Justice League and he doesn’t suddenly become fascinating now he’s got his own solo title. Watch him use software real good! … zzz...

The dialogue vacillates from Michael Bay movie-level dumb - “Time to die, Technosapien scum!” “No, Tekbreaker… YOU will die.” “It’s a good day to die.” (all from one page) - to pseudo-scientific - “Pay close attention to all of my neuro-cyber conductors, and record all energy levels, both organic and cybernetic. Cross-reference all real-time data to everything that’s been recorded since my original systems were brought online.” - and neither version is in the least bit compelling to read. By the way, that last quote is from Vic and is a large reason why he’s so boring - because THAT’S how the dude talks 90% of the time! 

Walker makes a half-hearted attempt at something maudlin to do with Vic preserving what’s left of his humanity and being seen as an individual and not a machine but it completely fails. Why? Because I’ve never once seen Cyborg treated as anything less than a valuable member of the Justice League and a human individual. It comes off as the writer floundering to find purchase on something substantial and grabbing air. 

Then nobody’s favourite characters, The Metal Men, show up to round out this dismal story. Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, thank goodness it’s over! As you can tell, I’m recommending this one. To line your cat’s litter tray with.

Cyborg, Volume 1: Unplugged

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