Monday, 16 June 2014

Justice League, Volume 3: Throne of Atlantis Review (Geoff Johns, Tony Daniel)

Have you read Aquaman Volume 3: Throne of Atlantis? If you have then you’ve basically read Justice League Volume 3: Throne of Atlantis by default because DC has made the highly questionable choice of reprinting the exact same Throne of Atlantis storyline in BOTH BOOKS!

The difference is that with the Justice League Throne book you get to read Justice League #13-14 and in the Aquaman Throne book you get to read Aquaman #0 and 14. What an utterly cynical move this is as there’s sure to be a massive overlap between Justice League and Aquaman readers, being Geoff Johns/New 52 fans, so DC are basically asking readers to shell out for the same story twice!

For that despicable decision alone, this book would get the lowest rating ever but Throne of Atlantis is also a pretty terrible storyline to boot. I won’t repeat my criticisms of that story as I already looked at it in detail in my Aquaman Volume 3 review (which can be read here), but instead I’ll mention the only new element in this book, Justice League #13-14, aka the crappiest Justice League story ever!

Superman and Wonder Woman are the two most powerful beings on the planet. Batman is the world’s greatest detective. Flash is the fastest human in the world. And yet they are ALL defeated by… The Cheetah!??!

Barbara Minerva is The Cheetah, a British scientist who became possessed with an ancient cheetah god and now resembles Doctor Moreau’s fantasy girl, half human/half cheetah. Her powers include looking like a naked cheetah lady, growling, and scramming things with her claws to temporarily turn them into cheetah hybrids – does that sound like someone who could beat even one of the aforementioned characters? And yet she is able to beat the Justice League.

These two issues prove that the New 52 Justice League are the lamest iteration of this group yet, seeing as they can’t deal with a cheetah woman between them. 

She’s able to hurt Flash by clawing his legs not once, but twice, despite him being so fast he can vibrate his molecules through solid objects!! And what was Flash’s plan anyway – run towards her really fast and… what? Because he gets slashed the first time, doesn’t learn from it, and attempts it a second time with absolutely no variation, and gets slashed again. What a buffoon! 

Superman is immobilised by some dumb leopard bite McGuffin that’s conveniently fixed in time for the story’s end, while Batman hangs back watching because if there's one thing Batman doesn't know how to deal with, it's cat-like women. He's never faced any of them back in Gotham like a million times before! 

Wonder Woman’s the only one who does anything because apparently she and Barbara have a history of being old friends and that makes it more meaningful – despite that history never having been seen in the New 52 because DC didn’t bother exploring it (among numerous other moments) and chose instead to lazily skip ahead 5 years.

Every writer plotting a New 52 story: “Why is so and so fighting us – what motivation do they have? And when did we know them?”
DC: “Oh, it all happened in that 5 year black hole that we jumped over… yes, that’ll do…”

The two-part Cheetah storyline should’ve been a Wonder Woman comic, not a Justice League one, though it still wouldn’t be a very good comic. But the fact that this one minor character was able to cause such trouble for them all completely undermines the team’s competency and makes it that much harder to take them seriously.

I wouldn’t recommend either Justice League or Aquaman Throne of Atlantis book, but if you’re going to read that storyline, read the Aquaman volume instead – Aquaman #0 and 14 are slightly less embarrassing than the Cheetah issues.

Justice League Volume 3: Throne of Atlantis

1 comment:

  1. See, I've been reading the New 52 Justice League as a team that's deeply flawed- none of the characters really like or trust each other than much (with the exception of Superman/Wonder Woman's relationship and Flash, because he seems to like everyone). So it makes sense in my mind that they don't end up beating the Cheetah hands-down. The New 52 JL never came across to me as a tight, powerful unit. I'll pay that some more development of the Cheetah wouldn't have gone astray- especially as part of the Wonder Woman series, but, as you saw in my review, I'm not so critical of it..