There are absolutely godawful Batman books and then there are Batman Elseworlds books, many of which somehow found a level even lower than rock-bottom quality - in fact, I might’ve found the worst of them all with Batman: Nosferatu!
I gather it’s supposed to have something to do with the (sorta) famous silent movies Nosferatu and The Cabinet of Dr Caligari but I’ve never seen either so couldn’t tell you how effective a parody/mashup it is of them. And, my word, Randy and Jean-Marc Lofficier’s script is so mind-bogglingly crappy, so completely incoherent and so incompetently executed, I honestly can’t tell you what’s meant to be going on anyway!
It’s set in a perpetually twilit Gotham (and/or Metropolis?) where everyone’s all super-Gothic for no reason. Some of the upper crust weirdos gather to watch the Cabinet of Dr Arkham on stage every day or so and Batman’s dressed up as Frank the Rabbit from Donnie Darko, presumably for reasons? Batman and Superman fight and it’s all over? Wha…?
Throw in some of the fugliest art you’ll ever see anywhere (seriously, grab some crayons, close your eyes and walk into some paper and you’ll produce something better than what’s printed here!) and you’ve got this remarkably terrible comic - I almost admire how stinkerific it is as I don’t think most people could intentionally produce something this rubbish if they tried!
So here it is, an extremely strong contender for the worst Batman book of all time that puts an unintentionally different spin on vampires and sucking: Nosferatu!
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