This Chinese Superman book was one of the few Rebirth titles that genuinely intrigued me, not least because it featured the only original new character in the entire line - I know that’s deliberate though, that Rebirth is about bringing back classic characters/timelines, etc. So it’s disappointing that New Super-Man follows the Rebirth trend of being unreadable drek.
Fante Bukowski was one of my favourite comics of 2015 so I’m delighted that Noah Van Sciver has returned to the character for another brilliant book.
The Avengers disassembled after House of M. Spidey rogue Electro busts out a few dozen baddies out of The Raft. Avengers reassemble - who expected THAT? Oh, right, everyone. Was it remotely entertaining to see something that’s been done a zillion times before? Surprisingly nah.
I put off reading this one after seeing a clip a while back from Alejandro Jodorowsky’s movie The Holy Mountain where a screaming naked old geezer wearing cheetah breasts squirts milk into the face of a kneeling man (for your trauma/amusement, here’s that scene), thinking that his comics were gonna be equally inaccessible, utterly incomprehensible and way too fartschool-y. And I was wrong - or at least half wrong - when it came to the first Incal book!
After J. Michael Straczynski and Joe Quesada took a big steaming dump on Spider-Man with One More Day, Dan Slott was parachuted in to clear up their mess with Brand New Day. Which he did pretty well, largely by ignoring the preceding nonsense, though some of the retconning sticks out awkwardly - Civil War still happened but somehow nobody remembers that Peter is Spidey despite his unmasking being the most memorable scene in that dismal storyline!
I do enjoy me some sad bastard comics now and then but Pieter Coudyzer’s debut Outburst was a bit too depressing even for me!
An enchanted colostomy bag belches into existence The Bliznar, an anthropomorphic multi-gender entity whose left testicle is running for Mayor of Kandahar and who wants to write this year’s Christmas No. 1 jig. But a ragtag team of anti-hero pro-superhero anti-hairdressers called Bloom 50 Squad have to lose the intergalactic atomic race and lock up the evil Princess Bitchtacular before the FixFaxes obliterate the comics universe of the 12th Dimension! Better gwant up the pooble before sippy revs the teeser!
The blurb for No Good Deed drew me in: Alan, a well-to-do food critic and columnist, comes across Craig, an old friend he hasn’t seen in years, and is shocked to find him homeless and living on the streets – a long way from the rich rock star he was in the early ‘90s! In an act of goodwill, Alan takes in Craig and tries to get him back on his feet – except, after briefly enjoying Alan’s comfortable life, Craig decides to have Alan’s life and schemes to take it from him.
Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman are the Trinity, DC’s three most popular, iconic superheroes. But mixing three great tastes doesn’t necessarily make them taste great together, as Trinity Rebirth proves. “Better Together”? Ha!
A humble street cleaner, Herman has a startling secret: at night he transforms into an imposing cloaked figure who wanders the city narrating his actions and thoughts aloud! When indie film director Mio chooses to film her next project in Herman’s town, he decides to audition for a part, revealing his secret side for the first time. Herman’s life is about to change…
Deadman: Dark Mansion of Forbidden Love is another retelling of Bluebeard where a man and a woman go to some big house, the man turns out to be crazy and the woman runs away from him. Other famous versions include Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre and Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca. What does Deadman/Boston Brand have to do with it? Nothing really. And that’s the book!
Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo weren’t just the standout creative team in DC’s New 52 (to be fair that wasn’t especially hard), even managing to outlive the poorly thought-out reboot, but are also arguably the finest creative team Batman’s ever had (Grant Morrison is the greatest Batman writer but he had a revolving door of artistic talent during his run from Frank Quitely to Tony Daniel to Andy Kubert whereas Snyder had a consistent collaborator in Capullo). The Court of Owls, Death of the Family, Zero Year - all amazing Batman arcs.
I was halfway through the novel when I realised a story wasn’t on the cards. Not that that bothered me too much (though it did a bit) – Mrs Fletcher is all about the characters, reflecting contemporary middle-class American culture, all of which is written pretty well – but, like the only other Tom Perrotta novel I’ve read, Election, I was left wondering what the author was trying to say; what’s the point of this book?
Dario Agger - a businessman so villainous he should by rights have a black top hat and cape and be twirling a pencil-thin moustache whenever he speaks - has been exploiting resources in the other realms for his company only. The other evil corporate bigwigs aren’t happy and decide to make an example of him by crashing his floating headquarters into Manhattan – Thor to the rescue! Meanwhile, two persistent SHIELD agents try to prove that Jane Foster is Thor and Mjolnir’s secret origin is revealed.
Adrian sees messed up things that aren’t there – or are they? In an effort to help him, his friend Molly takes him to see a hypnotist but something terrible is unleashed after Adrian goes under. Poor bloke; seeing nightmarish hallucinations is one thing – having them manifest in real life and come after you is another!
I’ve come across A LOT of dire, depressingly shitty books as I’ve made my way through DC’s Rebirth line and after finishing each one I’ve naively thought to myself “Well, that’s the worst of the bunch, that’s the bottom of the barrel - nothing’s gonna be worse than (Blank)!” The first was Aquaman. And then along came Nightwing. And then Titans. And then it snowballs as you realise in horror that most of the line is utter garbage. Deathstroke. Hellblazer. Cyborg. Blue bloody Beetle.
In July 1997 while on a mission for Doctors Without Borders, French worker Christophe Andre was kidnapped in the Russian Caucasus by Chechens and held for a $1m ransom. He thought his release would be secured in one or two days, not realising the months of captivity ahead of him!
DRAGON BALL IS BACK DRAGON BALL IS BACK DRAGON BALL IS BAAAAAACK!!!!
The Dragon Ball saga ended in 1995 with Dragon Ball Z after 42 volumes. Akira Toriyama’s bestselling title left behind a legacy as one of the most original, popular, influential and genre-defining comics in the world. Since then it’s only gotten more fans through the anime, the movies, and computer games, showing that there’s still an appetite for these characters and their stories.
Hired by an evil cabal called HIVE, Deathstroke the Terminator takes out the Teen Titans with thanks to a Judas within the ranks – but who sold them out and why?
The Judas Contract is another “classic” story so-called because of middle-aged fanboys looking back at this early ‘80s comic through a nostalgia filter rather than it being of high quality.
Paolo Bacilieri’s Fun is a graphic history of the crossword puzzle - and it’s as exciting as it sounds! It’s also a bit of a mess.
Along with the actual history of the crossword is the story of a fictional Italian novelist and a Disney comics writer who become friends and some random woman tries to assassinate the novelist. Not only that but there are a myriad number of digressions chucked in randomly like the story of: Spider-Man villain Hammerhead’s character, an English politician, an old man, the Disney comics writer’s mundane travels, a pug dog, a married woman having an affair, the strained relationship between an art collector and his father, an Italian graveyard, JD Salinger, Georges Perec, and an art student.
As Greg Rucka was writing two Wonder Woman storylines simultaneously, probably to keep the same artist for the duration of each arc, allowing them extra time to draw the issues while also sticking to DC’s double-shipping schedule, his second Wonder Woman Rebirth book doesn’t follow on from the first - instead it’s a retelling of her origin. For the umpteenth time. Sigh. While the title “Year One” references the classic Batman book of the same name, Wonder Woman: Year One is unfortunately nowhere near the same quality.
Set in pre-war South England, a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman called Fanshawe is asked by his mate to look after his wife Sukie while he’s away at sea. The naiveté of some folk, eh? Fanshawe and Sukie end up having an affair, but, with the ever-encroaching spectre of war and the uptight morals of 1930s British society, what will become of their love?
Marvel meets Agatha Christie in Deadpool: Too Soon? A group of Marvel characters are invited to a secluded country mansion and then one of them is murdered. It’s up to Wade to do his best Miss Marple impression and find out whodunit!
A long time ago (65 million years to be precise) in a galaxy not too far away… on Earth in fact! A sophisticated, yet deeply violent, space empire existed during the time of the dinosaurs led by Darkseid rip-off #576. His wife gets sick of his barbaric ways, takes their kids and runs – Darkseid-wannabe gives chase. And that’s Empress!
The first issue of the four-part miniseries Loose Ends was published in 2007 and the fourth issue was finally published this week, ten years later! Was it worth the wait? Sorta…
Billed as a “Southern crime romance”, Loose Ends is about a drug runner and a waitress who hit the road ahead of gangsters the drug runner ripped off who want them dead.
Rachel hasn’t had the best life: her dad left when she was a baby and her manipulative, cruel mother took his identity with her to the grave. Her cold husband divorced her after she had a mental breakdown covering the Haiti earthquake, the trauma causing her to lose her job as a journalist as well as turning her into a shut-in. By chance she meets her future second husband and the love of her life, Brian, who slowly helps turn things around for her. Until she realises he’s been lying to her since Day 1 about who he is and what he does. So who is “Brian” really and what does he do? Deadly consequences await Rachel as she begins to look into her beloved husband’s secret life…!
Hear that? That’s the sound of DC scraping the bottom of the Rebirth barrel with a title no-one was looking for: Blue Beetle! Just the name itself conjures up the lazy hackery that superhero comics can too often be. And, yes, Blue Beetle Rebirth is pure hack comics.
So this was terrible!
Bruce is trying to buy an island from another rich guy for reasons. Some French doofus wants to buy the island instead. Two-Face has gathered together some carnival freaks, whom he feels an affinity for because of his deformed face, and wants to put them on a zeppelin to somewhere - maybe the island? Apparently this is a story - and it completely sucks!
The art looks like a bad David Mazzucchelli wannabe’s efforts. Even by Matt Wagner’s standards - the hack who gave us Monster Men and The Mad Monk - this is an awful Batman book. Don’t bother with Batman: Feces.
America is DOOMED! So argues Pulitzer Prize-winning author Chris Hedges convincingly in Empire of Illusion which critically examines 21st century American culture (or lack thereof!) and how things got this point.
Marvel cash in on election fever with miniseries Vote Loki where the God of Mischief decides to run for US President (which he can do through some contrived bullshit), er, just to fuck with people? I suppose that is mischievous. Shame it’s not at all entertaining or worth reading!
I guess the commentary here is that Loki’s surprising popularity by being brazenly immoral shows the voting public as fickle and easily misled by a power-hungry villain (hint: TRUMP) as well as being fed up with politics as usual; ie. obvious observations. Except, regarding the ending, Christopher Hastings gave the voting public too much credit in believing they actually care about substance in this day and age!
It might sound like a fun concept on paper but Vote Loki was a tedious bore, like most campaign literature!
Originally The Wrath was conceived as a version of Bruce Wayne that chose a darker path - someone who allowed hate to consume him and who grew up as a similarly-costumed figure, deciding to gun down cops in misguided revenge for his parents’ deaths. He was actually a compelling character and I’d highly recommend Batman: The Wrath to any Batman fans to find out why for themselves as well as for an entertaining read.
For Dragon Ball alone, Akira Toriyama is one of my favourite comics creators ever but, having recently read the first volume of Dr Slump and now Sand Land, he unfortunately doesn’t seem to have made any great books outside of Dragon Ball!
A young student called Clay returns to Los Angeles for Christmas break to see friends and family. His visit reads something like this: “We’re rich kids in LA! Let’s do drugs and have sex – we’re soooo hedonistic and transgressive! Ooo, let’s have sex again and do MORE drugs!” Repeat for 200 pages and you’ve got Bret Easton Ellis’ debut novel Less Than Zero!
Rarely he’ll surprise with a decent book but I usually find that Greg Pak writes near-unreadable comics and, yup, he does it again with Silver Surfpants: Drivel-ution!
While Galactus takes a bath in our Sun for some reason, Surfpants hangs out on Earth. The High Evolutionary takes his Power Cosmic because whatever and then the fucking retard tries to terraform the moon! Also, Future Foundation because blah.
This one’s the whole package: bad action, dull characters, crap story, bland art, arbitrary love interest you couldn’t possibly give a shit about and an all-pervasive crushing sense of immense boredom. Greg Hack strikes again!
If you want to quash the urge to ever read Silver Surfpants comics again, check out the crapitude that is this book. What a load of bollocks!
