Friday, 11 December 2015

Secret Wars #8 Review (Jonathan Hickman, Esad Ribic)

Something AMAZING happens in Secret Wars #8: for the first time in the series, the cover actually reflects what happens inside the comic! 

Quite how the Thing has gotten to be giant-sized remains a mystery, as does how Galactus has gotten so (relatively) short, but they do punch each other. Woah… I don’t care. Maybe that’s exciting for some readers (likely wrestling fans)? 

The last issue saw several armies storming Castle Doom for no reason and this issue adds yet another army to the fray, also for no reason: Thanos’ Annihilation Horde. Who promptly stand around doing nothing. 

The Reeds are still up to something only this time they’ve recruited Star Lord who has a “toothpick” in his mouth (wink wink) which is a hint of yet another giant to appear (though I’m unsure why Franklin/Galactus are worried – they shoot fire!). 

I suppose there’s a major “death” in this issue but who really cares at this point? He’s just gonna come back unscathed and, considering how many Sinisters there are, there’s probably more than a few versions of this guy wandering around Battleworld anyway! Plus, looking at the cast list at the start of the issue, another major character “died” in between issues (probably in one of the tie-ins?). It’s just chaos at this point.

The issue ends with YET ANOTHER army rocking up and a character wielding one of the Marvel U’s most powerful items warping in out of nowhere. What a mess!

Originally Secret Wars was solicited for 8 issues but that got extended a few months ago to 9 issues – Jonathan Hickman needed the extra space for more pointless armies to appear and strike a pose - so we’ve got one more issue to go before we get to see the Deus Ex Machina that puts everything right. 

How do I know everything sorts itself out? All the Secret Wars tie-ins (or “Warzones” as they’re labelled) have long been completed, some of them actually giving away the finale – that’s how late Hickman/Esad Ribic’s series is! 

Oh yeah and the new Marvel Universe launched under the All-New, All-Different banner in October where everything seemed fine and one of the major characters who “died” during Secret Wars was alive and well, so… Secret Wars doesn’t matter! 

One more discharge of commercial diarrhea to go next month!  

Secret Wars #8

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