Listen guys, if you’re looking at this thinking What the Fuuuuudge is “The Darkness?!”, in the immortal words of rage-drunk Chris Bale, WELL, GOOD FOR YOU! I’m gonna tell you but beyond this review, don’t bother looking any further: The Darkness is a twat.
Marc Silvestri is a fine artist who draws uncannily like Jim Lee for some strange reason, but he is utterly worthless as a creator. I mean he gave the world The Darkness, which says it all.
Jackie Estacado is a sleazy mob hitman who arbitrarily gets Darkness powahs on his 21st birthday and becomes Derrr Darkness. It’s basically a superhero as imagined by someone with severe head trauma and no imagination. He can do stuff, except have sex with mortal women because if he impregnates a mortal woman then he dies because garbage, and irritating demons follow him everywhere, and anything else he does, he can do because the plot requires him to. Fuck me, this is shite ‘90s comics at its pinnacle!
The Darkness is the most unlikeable superhero ever with the most convoluted and poorly thought-out backstory and powers ever. Probably as a favour to Silvestri, DC allowed a couple of Batman and Superman crossovers to boost its audience - hey, it worked, I picked this crap up thinking it was gonna be full of Batman and Superman stories and they’re only in it for 20% of the book!
The rest of this trash is pure Darkness where he fights angels and gangsters and who cares what for who knows why. Garth Ennis scripts it which only goes to show that all great writers have to write a bunch of crap first before producing anything worth reading. I could feel the words going in one ear and tumbling out of the other as I was reading them, they’re that forgettable.
I could go on but what’s the point? I read it only to get my (discounted, thank gawd) money’s worth - if you’ve got the choice, avoid anything with The Darkness on the cover because it is the most pitiful and worthless reading experience evarrrr. Listen to the British glam rock band The Darkness instead! Chris-muss taaahm, duh duh duh bells rinnngg!
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