Mary Ventura and the Ninth Kingdom by Sylvia Plath Review

Mary Ventura bids a reluctant farewell to her parents before embarking on a train journey to the mysterious Ninth Kingdom. But what is the Ninth Kingdom - and will Mary reach it safely? 

Sylvia Plath’s short story sounds dreamlike and that’s exactly how it reads! The premise and overall atmosphere feels like Plath by way of Shirley Jackson/The Twilight Zone though unfortunately it’s nowhere near as good as either. Considering she wrote this as a 20 year old undergraduate at Smith, the prose is surprisingly strong and you can see her literary talents emerging. Still, I wouldn’t call it a gripping or even half-interesting reading experience. 

Inside Moebius, Volume 1 by Moebius Review

Legendary French cartoonist Jean “Moebius” Giraud indulges in some extended naval gazing with Inside Moebius, Part 1 (of 6!). While I appreciate his artistic skill and influence on many comics creators, I’m not a big Moebius fan, haven’t read much of his work and what little I have hasn’t blown my hair back. Ditto Inside Moebius which I found very tedious. 

World of Tanks: Citadel Review (Garth Ennis, PJ Holden)

Operation Zitadelle took place on the Eastern front in the summer of 1943 and saw 780,800 German troops and nearly 3000 tanks take on over 2 million Russians and over 5000 tanks – ‘twas quite the argy-bargy! Shame Garth Ennis turns it into a very dull comic in his second World of Tanks books, Citadel. 

Cold Hand in Mine by Robert Aickman Review

Good gravy, where do I start? So it’s taken me, on and off, nearly three months to get through this relatively ordinary-sized short story collection - and that ain’t a good sign! Of the eight stories here, one is really good and one is half decent - the others? Holy guacamoleshit - you need the patience of a fucking saint to get through those! 

Bully Wars Review (Skottie Young, Aaron Conley)

Nerdy kids get bullied until they start high school and their bully realises there are bigger bullies and starts getting a taste of his own medicine! To save face, he must enter the Bully Wars, an absurd local competition for the town’s bullies to prove their mettle - or something - and… the nerds is gonna help him win?! 

Luisa: Now and Then Review (Carole Maurel, Mariko Tamaki)

In the tradition of wacky body swap fantasies like Freaky Friday and Big (still Tim Honks’ best movie) comes the story of a grouchy 33 year old who meets her 15 year old self somehow! They fight, They bite, They bite and fight and bite, Bite, bite, bite, Fight, fight, fight, The Itchy and Scratchy Show Luisa: Now and Then! But, y’know, slightly more serious because LGBT stuff. 

Polar: Came from the Cold by Victor Santos Review

Unstoppable spy/hitman/bounty hunter/doesn’t matter takes on generic international baddies syndicate because action! Lots of guns, lots of dead goons, a whole lotta nuthin’ - this is Polar: The Spy Who Bored Me! 

Victor Santos’ Polar is the most derivative comic I’ve read in a while. About the only thing that held my interest was noting Victor Santos’ very obvious influences. The art style ranged from Frank Miller’s Sin City to Eduardo Risso’s 100 Bullets to Michael Avon Oeming. 

Constant Companion by Noah Van Sciver Review

Careful you don’t fall off the edge of your seat when reading Noah Van Sciver’s Constant Companion! Contained within are short, scratchy diary strips of everyday mundanity and quiet sketches of ordinary people and objects. I feel tense all over again just recalling the comic where Noah had a nap, woke up and did some drawing! 

Justice League Dark, Volume 2: The Books of Magic Review (Peter Milligan, Jeff Lemire)

Ah Justice League Dorks, the Paul Daniels version of the Justice League. However, unlike Paul’s catchphrase “You’ll like this… not a lot, but you’ll like it”, you won’t like this, not even a little! 

In Peter Milligan’s portion of the book, the JLD fight an army of vampires while trying to recruit a special vampire just cos. Things move laterally from terrible to terrible as Jeff Lemire takes over writing and the JLD try to get The Books of Magic before some evil magicians do. Boring doesn’t begin to express the experience of reading either of these stories. 

An Untouched House by Willem Frederik Hermans Review

1944, and, somewhere on the Eastern front, an unnamed man sorta fighting for the Red Army oddly finds himself alone in a luxuriously large empty house. Quickly shedding his uniform for civvies, he decides to pass himself off as the owner. But as the battle lines shift, the Germans move back into the area – as well as the real owner of the house. What will our man do???

To the Heart of the Storm by Will Eisner Review

To the Heart of the Storm is Will Eisner’s memoir of growing up in Depression-era New York as well as a truncated bio of his maw and paw. It’s framed by a 25 year old Eisner looking out of a train window as he heads to war in 1942 looking back on his past. 

Supergirl: Being Super Review (Mariko Tamaki, Joelle Jones)

Being Super is a kind of Earth One-type origin story for Supergirl that’s basically garbage. I’m not that familiar with the character but I’m not sure her origin, as laid out by Mariko Tamaki, is supposed to be quite so derivative of Superman’s: her Kryptonian pod lands at a farm outside a small American town where the kindly childless couple raise her as their own, doing their best to hide her burgeoning superpowers. Sound familiar? There’s even a page where she lifts up a tractor! 

Disquiet by Noah Van Sciver Review

Disquiet is a pretty decent anthology collection of Noah Van Sciver’s comics, some of which have been published before as single comics. Like The Lizard Laughs, the best story here, about a young man reconnecting with his estranged, deadbeat dad who abandoned his family years ago. 

George's Marvellous Medicine by Roald Dahl Review

I don’t remember much about George’s Marvellous Medicine from when I read it as a kid except that I didn’t love it. So I was curious to find out exactly why I thought that and whether the book might be better now that I’m older and (barely) wiser.

Well: I think George’s Marvellous Medicine might be Roald Dahl’s worst book! 

Hobo Mom Review (Charles Forsman, Max de Radigues)

A homeless woman returns to the husband and daughter she abandoned in an attempt to make things work - will she succeed or has too much time passed? 

Charles Forsman is one of the most interesting cartoonists working today so anything by him is an immediate must-read for me. His collaboration with Max de Radigues, Hobo Mom, though is just ok. 

Koshchei the Deathless Review (Mike Mignola, Ben Stenbeck)

Mike Mignola and Dark Horse continue to desperately milk the Hellboy franchise for all its worth, this time focusing on an obscure supporting character from the series, Koschei the Deathless. And, like most Hellboy-related stuff published these days, it’s absolutely boring! 

The Immortal Hulk, Volume 1: Or Is He Both? Review (Al Ewing, Joe Bennett)

Hulk “died” recently, he’s back (that title’s accurate - he’ll never be “dead” for long!) and he’s now wandering the Earth, righting wrongs, but only on a small scale for some reason. He takes out drug dealing bikers, a mad scientist experimenting with gamma radiation, and tangles with Sasquatch, the strongman from nobody’s favourite superhero team, Alpha Flight! 

James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl Review

Magic beans transforms an ordinary peach into a gigantic piece of fruit and its surrounding insect populace human-sized, before going on to rescue James Henry Trotter from his sad life with his evil aunts, Spiker and Sponge. 

I remember not really liking James and the Giant Peach all that much when I was a kid but I still thought it was an ok book. On re-reading though, eh, no - it’s not very good at all! 

Superman Volume 1: The Unity Saga: Phantom Earth Review (Brian Michael Bendis, Ivan Reis)

Oh Brian Bendyman, the rule is that you start titles well and then taper off into forgettable dross after a few good books - you’re not meant to begin crappy! 

Superpants is sorta looking for Lois and Jon, whom his dead/hologram (I can’t keep up anymore) dad has taken on a great space coaster or something, before suddenly winding up in The Phantom Zone - along with Earth whaaa! 

The Twits by Roald Dahl Review

Who doesn’t love a good villain? And Mr and Mrs Twit are a delightfully nasty pair! When they’re not having a go at one another - she mixing in live worms into his spaghetti, he trying to send her off into space with balloons - they’re trying to eat children, actually eating the local bird populace and torturing a family of monkeys. Then one day the monkeys decide to push back… 

The Magic Finger by Roald Dahl Review

I remember not liking The Magic Finger as a kid despite being a huge Roald Dahl fan but I couldn’t quite put my finger (ahhh!) on why, so I thought I’d re-read it to see if maybe my view on it has changed - and it hasn’t! 

A girl - who’s such a non-character she doesn’t even have a name; if she did it’d be “Plot Contrivance”! - has a magic finger that does magic when she gets angry and points it at people. She points it at a local family who enjoy duck hunting, turning them into ducks to be hunted by ducks with guns. 

Criminal #1 Review (Ed Brubaker, Sean Phillips)

Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips recently completed their five year exclusive deal with Image and - tremendous news for everyone - they’ve re-upped for another five! And what better way to start their second five years at Image than with a new arc of their signature series, Criminal, featuring their recurring character, Teeg Lawless! 

Cold Spots Review (Cullen Bunn, Mark Torres)

Little girl controls ice ghosts because horror. Them ghosts is up to no good because durrr. Her deadbeat dad suddenly cares about her despite having never seen her before because plot. Somewhere in that mess is a “story” that’ll make you wish you were an ice ghost so you wouldn’t feel boredom on this scale! 

Sweet Bean Paste by Durian Sukegawa Review

Sentaro is an ex-con working off a debt in a dorayaki shop (dorayaki is Japanese confectionery where two pancakes sandwich sweet Azuki red bean paste). But business is slow. One day a mysterious elderly woman called Tokue appears with her own recipe for dorayaki - and suddenly business is booming! But who is Tokue really and why are her hands so gnarled… 

Maid-sama! Volume 1 by Hiro Fujiwara Review

Authoritarian high school student council president Misaki Ayuzawa may lord it over the students at her male-dominated high school but she has a secret after-school job: cosplaying as a maid at a bar! Takumi Usui stumbles across her secret shame - will he reveal it to the school, undermining her position, and what will Misaki do to keep him from spilling? 

Blissful Land, Volume 1 by Ichimon Izumi Review

You ever read books that are just - niiiice? Definitely not page-turners but something about them keeps you going? Not boring, not that interesting, just - niiiice? That’s how I felt about the very blissed-out Blissful Land, Volume 1: niii - alright I’ll stop that! 

The Deal of a Lifetime by Fredrik Backman Review

Any Family Guy fans here? Brian Griffin (the dog) is an aspiring author who writes the hackiest crap ever (his debut novel was titled “Faster Than The Speed of Love”!). Reading Fredrik Backman’s The Deal of a Lifetime was like reading what I imagine one of Brian’s books would be: beyond contrived, comedically sentimental and clumsily manipulative. 

One Dirty Tree by Noah Van Sciver Review

One Dirty Tree is a short memoir that jumps between two different times in Noah Van Sciver’s life: 1994, aged 10, and living with his family (his mom, himself and his 7 siblings are pictured on the cover – Mormons, eh?), and 2014, aged 30, as he completes the first Fante Bukowski book and disentangles himself from a doomed relationship. 

The Black Beetle: Kara Bocek by Francesco Francavilla Review

It’s 1934 and the Black Beetle travels to the ancient port city of Constantinople to get a silly ray gun from someone because hey this is a pulp sci fi homage thingy and that’s what happens in them apparently! Cartoon Nazis follow and predictable drivel ensues. 

Matilda by Roald Dahl Review

Five and a half year old Matilda is already reading the likes of Hemingway and Dickens while computing complex sums in her head at the drop of a hat. But she has a horrible family who despise her and her precocious intellect - which is nothing compared to the flat-out hostility of her new school’s headmistress, the monstrous Miss Trunchbull! Luckily, Matilda finds a soulmate in her kind teacher Miss Honey and together they set out to teach the bullies a lesson, once and for all! 

BLOGGER!

I'M BACK! So yeah, not to make a big thing of it but I didn't think much of Steemit. I might not make anything from my content on either site but at least Blogger doesn't fuck with my content so here I am, back agin, posting my reviews and possibly other stuff, back on this site. 

Let normal service resume!