Thursday, 22 October 2015

Green Lantern, Volume 3: The End Review (Geoff Johns, Doug Mahnke)

If, like me, you’ve already read Rise of the Turd Army, you’ll already have read half of this volume. If, unlike me, you read Wrath of the First Lantern, you can basically skip this entire volume as that noise fills up the second half! 

So this is Geoff Johns’ final Green Lantern book (for now) hence the subtitle. Emotional? Nah, me neither. I didn’t read many of his Lantern books but the few I did were just ok (though I'm not really a big Green Lantern fan). 

The not-very-interesting Simon Baz is the new bearer of Sinestro/Hal’s ring. He’s also Middle-Eastern and, through some contrivances, he’s stuck with the stereotype of the Muslim suicide bomber and is being chased by the US government and the Justice League. He has to find the guy whose bomb was in the van he boosted AND fight off the Turd Army goons… zzz… 

It’s not nearly as exciting as it sounds, especially as the Justice League show how incompetent they are, undercutting the drama with their (unintentional) slapstick comedy. Cue the Benny Hill music! Big Blue, Emo-man, Token Woman, Red Guy, the Tin Man and Captain Birdseye’s nemesis can’t stop some scared dude in a car who doesn’t know what he’s doing with a power ring? The New 52 Justice League suuuuuuck! 

Elsewhere, the First Lantern wants powah, so much powah, to do something; in other words he’s Johns’ usual dreary bad guy. Watch with boredom as lots of colourful lights flash and Lanterns everywhere… ah who cares. POWAH! Also, Simon who? Poor git’s forgotten in the second half and I don’t think he appears in the series ever again. Things prolly worked out for him, right? 

Lots of busy pages round out the book – what First Lantern? He dead… or something - as Geoff Johns and Doug Mahnke take a victory lap with all the Green Lantern characters posing; I’m sure it was moving for someone. Before that though, that stuff with Hal Jordan and Sinestro was ridonkulous. I won’t spoil it here but Deus ex Machina’s all round with old, old ideas trotted out once more because this is the last time Johns is gonna get to do them I guess. So, so stupid and shows Geoff Johns is plum out of new ideas for this series making his exit all the more fortuitous. 

Bye, Geoff Johns, you made Green Lantern popular for DC again (I’m assuming it must’ve been popular at some point in the last 70+ years)! However a patchwork collection of lacklustre crossover issues unfortunately isn’t the best way to go out. 

And what is that pose Kyle Rayner’s striking on the cover? “I am Kyle Abs – look at my super-wide chest! POWAH!” What a douche-nugget.

Green Lantern, Volume 3: The End

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