Saturday, 4 July 2015

Catwoman, Volume 3: Death of the Family Review (Ann Nocenti, Rafa Sandoval)

When you’re out of beer, or whatever your drug of choice is, and just gotta lose some brain cells, DC’s got you covered: look for anything with Ann Nocenti’s name on the cover. It’ll do the job but good!

You know what kind of story I want to read about a cat burglar who loves shiny objects? A demonic plot so hackneyed Scooby-Doo wouldn’t touch it with an empty snack box where Catwoman chants “rope-a-dope” like some braindead card shark. 

I can’t fault Nocenti entirely, she was clearly “rope-a-doped” herself into doing a two-parter about the Joker because Scott Snyder’s comics sell so why not pretend he had something to do with this money pit! What does the Joker want with Catwoman? Fucked if I know, and I read the damn thing! It's kind of a success though as the story is a joke! 

What else is in this disasterpiece - something about Selina looking for her true identity? When did Catwoman become such a downer? Isn’t she supposed to be this happy-go-lucky girl who gets her kicks stealing fancy stuff, then playfully running away from the Big Bat only to get “caught” and “punished” (yeah, she knows what Bruce wants)!? Now she’s brooding and going through orphanage files, murmuring to herself like a bag lady looking for her tin can collection - ugh! Somebody light a match! Not for the smell, put it to the page! 

Two more things - I know, it goes on, doesn’t it? Well, quantity over quality, guys! After finding out about Damian's death, Bruce started sobbing and so did I - there was still more book! So we see Selina and Bruce’s first encounter (for the umpteenth time) and Catwoman's origin from Batman Returns is trotted out again because the reader hasn't been punished enough. I’m sure there’s something in the Geneva Convention about this comic! 

Do yourself a favour and make that walk through the bad neighbourhood to get what you need to get through the evening. Spend it instead on this book and the damage will be much worse!

Catwoman, Volume 3: Death of the Family

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