The Waiting by Keum Suk Gendry-Kim Review

When the Korean War began thousands of refugees fled from north to south to escape - among them the young mother of The Waiting, who left with her husband, son and daughter, and was then separated from her husband and son - forever? In modern-day South Korea, her daughter attempts to make a reunion, via the Red Cross, to bring her ailing mother in contact with her long-lost son in the north one last time before she dies…

This is worth noting right from the jump because it’s going to change how you read this book: this is a NOVEL not a memoir. I only found this out at the end, reading the afterword and the blurb, because the blurb mentions two sisters separated by war - but the entire preceding book is about a mother trying to reconnect with her missing son, and I thought, whaaaat?! Yeah, it’s presented and reads well like a memoir but for no real reason I can see, Keum Suk Gendry-Kim has gone the fictional route so that she doesn’t “unintentionally hurt those who shared their stories so vulnerably with her.”

But what I can’t wrap my head around is HOW she would hurt anyone. She’s already told her mother’s story, and the others she interviewed, in the afterword - how would telling those stories in the book proper hurt them any more than this? And there’s an episode in the book anyway of two sisters reuniting - did having that in the book hurt her mother? And considering how much of the book is based on fact (the elderly mother is modelled on her own mother), why not go the whole distance so that it can be a memoir and not a novel? It’s just such a strange choice. And it actually takes away from the impact of the story too.

It still remains a powerful read though. I knew of the Korean War but didn’t know much about it so it was fascinating and extremely moving to see the experiences of the refugees during and after the conflict. Though again Gendry-Kim’s storytelling is sloppy for no real reason. The story is about a woman fleeing from North to South Korea with most readers unlikely to know the region. So, contextually, this should be taken into account - have the chapters set in the North explicitly say “North Korea” or “northern Korea” as it was at the time, rather than “Hamgyong Province” which is going to be meaningless to most readers, as it was to me.

And, while deeply moving, the book is a gratuitously grim narrative. The poor woman is never allowed to be happy for long. She gets a puppy, then a neighbour licks his lips and points out how plump the dog is getting. I didn’t want to reinforce negative stereotypes in my mind but that’s exactly where Gendry-Kim takes that particular episode! Then the Japanese soldiers inflict horrendous atrocities on the Koreans before being forced out and then it’s the Russians’ turn, and then the Korean War kicks off in earnest. Oy… it makes the book a bit of a chore to get through because it’s so bleak and depressing.

The Waiting is a birruva mixed bag for me. Gendry-Kim’s black and white art is skillful and the book is very informative on the effect the war had on ordinary people, the culture of the newly-divided South Korea in the immediate aftermath, and the legacy that divide had on its people. And it is a grimly compelling story too that definitely hits you in the feels hard. But it’s also a bit overwhelmingly depressing with some bafflingly convoluted storytelling choices throughout to make what could’ve been a strong memoir into an unnecessarily confusing mess.

I’m glad I read The Waiting if only to understand the Korean War and its legacy a bit better but I’m not sure I’d recommend it to most casual comics readers - decent but definitely not a must-read.