Monday, 8 December 2014

Attack On Titan Volume 1 Review (Hajime Isayama)


In the future overly simplistic stories exploring the Japanese xenophobic mindset will bore you with their complete lack of imagination! The evil Titans (or, “foreigners”) threaten the tiny human population (or, “Japanese”) by eating them (or, “consuming their culture”). The humans live in medieval-type castle structures with multiple layers of walls that don’t work to attempt to protect themselves from the Titans who want to eat them for some reason. 

Our hero is the perpetually constipated Some Guy who wants to join the ineffectual Something Corps who go out and get eaten by the Titans sooner rather than live as well as they can inside the large walls before getting eaten later. To combat the Titans, the humans have developed grappling hooks and spears that don’t work - this is set in the future! 

Snore as Some Guy and his sister Some Girl fight to become part of the elite Something Corps so they can fail to defeat the TItans first while swinging from hooks like a fairground attraction! Attack on Titan Volume 1 sucks ostrich balls! Do ostriches have balls? Well, Attack on Titan Volume 1 is sure sucking something! Stop molesting those sexy ostriches, Attack on Titan Volume 1! 

Marvel as you feel your brain actually punching the inside of your head for subjecting it to this drek and then attempt to escape through your ears! So long, Attack on Titan Volume 1, you were a total waste of time!

Attack On Titan Volume 1

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