Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Savage Wolverine, Volume 1: Kill Island Review (Frank Cho)



Cripes, this one was a stinker! Why the hell is it damn near impossible to find a decent Wolverine book these days?! 

How about this for pointless: Wolverine shows up for no reason on an island in the Savage Land along with Shanna the She-Devil, they fight a bunch of dinosaurs and some apes, Hulk shows up for no reason at the end, and a giant alien blasts off into space, the end. Cripes, what rubbish! 

The story is practically irrelevant as this book is basically a showcase for Frank Cho’s art. It ticks all the boxes for stuff he loves to draw: scantily clad, curvy women, tick. Dinosaurs, tick. Apes/monkeys, tick. Kill Island (very creative title) may be all about the art but still, the story could’ve been better. Instead it’s mostly Wolverine and Shanna doing their “comedy” routine which consists of Wolverine saying something like “we gotta stay quiet and still” and then Shanna doing the opposite or Wolverine saying “no sudden movements” and then Shanna falling down from a tree. Fighting ensues. Repeat. 

AHAHAHA oh my sides, they have split. Frank Cho’s “comedy” is about as advanced as a Looney Tunes cartoon. My favourite “joke” is Wolverine’s side constantly being pierced by arrows and him muttering “aw cripes, it’s never going to heal properly!” Wah-wah-waaaaaaah. Wolverine also says “cripes” a lot for some reason. 

Another character, Amadeus Cho, magically appears on the island (I’m not sure the whole random teleporting thing was ever fully explained) who I know nothing about except that he’s Iron Man without the armour. No, not Tony Stark because Cho can blast stuff with his hands, fly, he’s got a personal forcefield and a chatty AI called Calvin, but I cared so little about this book and the character that I’m not even going to do the bare minimum of research by googling the character’s background. His whole deal seems to have been to repeat this one joke about him wanting to find out the score of the Superbowl and then he discovers his team didn’t win! AHAHAHA…

Hulk’s whole appearance is predicated around Cho doing some physical comedy which again reads like a pre-teen’s idea of “comedy” as Hulk is swatted like a fly by a giant alien and lands in the mouth of a massive fish. And Wolverine says “cripes”. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! These are “jokes”, guys. 

Cho’s art on the whole is good but his depictions of women is about as derivative as they get. Shanna is slinking around in a fur bikini and thong the whole time and the only other women who appear are brainless sex slaves for Wolverine wearing pieces of string and eye patch-sized clothing. So to see some great imagery of Wolverine fighting dinosaurs and giant apes in the jungle, you’ve got to see Cho’s masturbatory fantasies first. Of course all the women are barbies with tiny waists, massive boobs, etc. because it’s a Frank Cho book. 

Kill Island is an incredibly boring, incredibly contrived story about nothing that reveals that Cho may be an accomplished artist but he’s not a writer at all. 

Criiiiiiiipes!

Savage Wolverine Volume 1: Kill Island

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