It’s the future so the Matrix is real and Peter Parker’s stuck in there because. Where’s MJ? Well, the sensible thing to do is time-travel with a mini Black Cat and actual goblins(!?) to fight Venom as MJ to not prevent the dystopian future that an Akira’d out Kingpin will enact for some reason. Time to get your dumbrellas out everyone - we’re heading back into Kaare Andrews’ Reign!
Apparently I read the first Reign but have absolutely no recollection of what happened in it besides not liking it. (I know, so obviously don’t read the sequel, right? This is a joke buddy read, guys, hence the banner - but I did actually read the book too) A Spider-Man version of Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns? Yeah, that was a bad idea. But it’s not like big publishers and crap creators have stopped having bad ideas so, much like the trainwreck that was The Dark Knight Strikes Again, here’s the equally terrible Spider-Man: Reign 2.
Kaare Andrews is a poor writer and an appallingly inept storyteller. God knows what this fucking nonsense is about. Peter with Santa beard is obsessed with finding MJ to stop her from dying or something and all he says on every page is “WHERE IS MJ!?” like a braindead zombie.
Time travel happens somehow for some reason, Miles is also old and is a timecop or something and needs to stop Peter Santa beard from something. Green Goblin is an actual goblin apparently and has lots of mini goblins (thank god we don’t find out how those got spawned) that follow the mini Black Cat for some reason. Venom is also MJ in the past or something?
It just gets stupider and stupider as the book progresses. Some drivel about an electronic web to stop New York from becoming a nuclear wasteland and Kingpin’s running it all somehow but he’s also the Matrix or something. Good lord, what a mess.
I suspect I forgot the first Reign because I didn’t review it and I will definitely forget this claptrap too - but if I need reminding of how utterly terrible a Spider-Man writer Kaare Andrews is, I can remind myself of the garbage he came up with for Reign 2 with this review. Reign 2 is an absolute disasterpiece of how not to write superhero comics. And we’ll probably get Reign 3 in a few years because Marvel’s gonna Marvel.
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