But You Have Friends by Emilia McKenzie Review

Emilia and Charlotte became high school best friends in 1999 and stayed close for nearly 20 years until Charlotte killed herself in 2018 at the age of 34. Emilia McKenzie’s book, But You Have Friends, is a celebration and a memorial of their friendship.

The first half of the book is about that friendship. Emilia has trouble connecting to anyone in school until she meets Charlotte and the two become fast friends. They share music/TV/book recs, gossip, insecurities, talking about never getting married, etc. - this is the only part of the book that bored me a bit because the stuff teenagers bang on about is quite banal.

She also mentions Charlotte lending her Roz Chast’s masterwork Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant? (her last book lend as it would turn out), which is telling as McKenzie’s presentation style in this comic feels very similar to Chast’s.

McKenzie captures the warmth and energy of a close, real friendship really well in this part of the book so that Charlotte’s absence in the second half is keenly felt in the reader and not just by the author.

Red flags start appearing in 2014 when Charlotte has her first overdose and things deteriorate until she dies in 2018. McKenzie relates the shattering grief she and everyone who knew Charlotte felt in the aftermath of the news. The regret she still feels of things unsaid, and the frustration of seeing patronising and unhelpful advice available online for people in similar situations.

In doing so, she effectively communicates the message to anyone with suicidal ideation not to kill yourself and, to anyone with someone close to them suffering with mental health, to be more giving of your feelings, rather than bottling them up, because one day the person you want to say them to might be gone and you’ll never get the chance again - all without coming across as preachy or pedantic.

I found But You Have Friends to be a compelling and moving comic and easily one of the year’s highlights. Emilia McKenzie’s created a wonderful tribute to the memory of her friend.