Rorschach Review (Tom King, Jorge Fornes)

2020, and President Robert Redford is seeking re-election. But his four-term tenure looks to come to an end as Turley, the Republican nominee, is picking up steam. And then an assassination attempt is made on Turley’s life, almost twarting his campaign. The would-be assassin? An unrecognisable old man in a Rorschach mask with Walter Kovacs’ prints. But Kovacs (the original Rorschach) died nearly 35 years ago - didn’t he…?

I’m less of a Watchman fan and much more of a Tom King fan, and increasingly, a fan of artist Jorge Fornes too, thanks to their great work on Batman, which is what drew me to their limited series, Rorschach. But, unfortunately, King doesn’t bring the same level of magic to this book that he did to Batman - I can’t emphasise this enough: Rorschach is an extremely tedious read!

This is the first Watchmen title to follow Geoff Johns/Gary Frank’s Doomsday Clock, which introduced the Watchmen into the DC Universe, so I thought this book would have a connection to that book, but it doesn’t. The Rorschach(s) in this book is not the Rorschach from Doomsday Clock - in fact, this book has nothing to do with that book. Also, aside from a few references, this book doesn’t have a great deal to do with the original Watchmen comic either - Rorschach could easily be read as a standalone book.

King continues to subvert expectations by making Rorschach essentially a bit player in his own book. In fact, you could go further and say that, aside from some of the characters wearing his mask, it’s almost incidentally a Rorschach book - without that small detail of the costume, this could just be a True Detective-style comic. So definitely don’t expect superhero shenanigans if you pick this one up.

Which is fine with me - I’m all for being surprised, particularly when it comes to DC’s usually predictable output - but what we get instead is equally as dull as generic superhero antics. The Turley campaign hires a private investigator to look into who the assassins were and whether they’re connected to the Redford campaign - the PI is the character we follow as he unravels the stories of “Rorschach” and his accomplice, a 19 year old sharpshooter from Wyoming.

And, my word, is the investigation the dreariest thing to slog through! Wow. None of the guys’ lives who put on the Rorschach mask were all that compelling to read about, particularly the one we initially meet, nor is the life of deadshot Laura Cummings. The detective protagonist is such a cipher that I can’t even recall the man’s name! The supporting characters don’t stand out either. Turley is an asshole politician and the others are just staffers doing their jobs. It’s such an unimpressive cast.

There’s very little driving the story. We just have to wait it out as King slowly takes us through every little detail that leads the assassins to their bloody destiny. I don’t know who would be on the edge of their seat waiting to find out whether Rorschach and Laura were connected to the Redford campaign or not, but that’s the assumption King makes, and it’s the wrong one because I never cared once!

I’m gonna mention specifics in this next part so, if you’re planning on reading this and don’t want any - they’re not really “spoilers” but let’s call it that for sanity’s sake - spoilers, skip this. I’m not recommending this book - it’s terrible and will almost certainly put you to sleep long before the end.

OK - “SPOILERS”!

Wil Myerson, the main “Rorschach” of this book, is a thinly-veiled portrayal of Steve Ditko, the artist who most famously co-created Spider-Man for Marvel. Besides looking like him and having created a popular comics character (“Pontius Pirate” in this universe), he also creates comics reminiscent of Ditko’s Mr A, reimagined as The Citizen.

Quite why this Rorschach had to be an elderly New York cartoonist, I have no idea (maybe having a pirate-themed comic within a comic is a nod to Tales of the Black Freighter in the original Watchmen) - it’s particularly confusing when Rorschach is able to fight off a handful of cops by himself! What - does putting on the mask bestow an elderly cartoonist, who’s spent decades in his apartment hunched over a drawing board, with hand-to-hand combat skills?!

Myerson/Ditko isn’t even the only famous superhero cartoonist in this story. I’m not kidding - Frank “Sin City/300/The Goddamn Batman” Miller is here too! It’s maybe the weirdest plot detail in the book. There’s no real reason for Frank Miller to be here, but he is, and he’s also wearing a Rorschach mask. Although, this being an alternate world, he’s famous here for his seminal ‘80s comic, The Dark Fife Returns (other notable details about the setting of this story is that Vietnam is now an American state and technology seems to be far behind ours in the present day - a key plot point in their 2020 hinges on a tape recorder. I can’t even remember the last time I saw one of those!).

Stuff like Frank Miller’s inclusion are a big part of why I didn’t like this book: it’s way too long. There’s so many pointless digressions - too much time is spent on Myerson and Cummings, there’s an entire issue about a circus strongman that’s not important, another issue about the detective interviewing a trio of patsies, another issue about talking to the dead via tape recordings, paranoid fantasies involving Doctor Manhattan and squid aliens, and the godawful final 2-3 issues that is one long info dump highlighting just how utterly convoluted King’s plotting can get. It’s 12 issues that would’ve been overlong had it just been 6.

And all it turns out to be is an underwhelming story about two sad, lonely people who somehow found each other and decided to do something crazy. One of them wore a Rorschach mask for no reason and that’s what makes this book “Rorschach”. Also, politicians at the highest levels are crooked - colour me shocked.

Jorge Fornes’ art is by far the best part of this book and yet it’s also a long way from his most impressive work, given that he’s not really asked to draw anything particularly spectacular. King’s lo-fi script is mostly people in sparsely-decorated rooms talking and/or looking at papers. His wonderfully designed covers are the standout for me and I liked how the title pages morphed from blank paper to a Rorschach pattern over the course of the book.

The occasional splash pages are excellent too, especially that last one which is definitely a shocker - it’s a very unpredictable ending, if also kinda meaningless and nihilistic. The part where the circus strongman decided to be Rorschach and Frank Miller’s appearance both made me laugh, so I suppose they weren’t that bad, but otherwise the vast majority of King’s script put me into a near-comatose stupor.

Rorschach is the anti-page-turner. It requires a lot of patience and concentration to get through, because you’ll mostly be wanting to put it down and do something interesting instead, and doesn’t reward that effort either - all you get is a forgettable, boring story that’ll disappoint both fans of the character and the creators. A disappointing book all round.

Hurm.