Get ready to be knocked out with this original concept: people who can’t die! Woooah… yeah and that’s our protagonists in The Old Guard, a buncha unkillable soldiers-turned-mercenaries. And get this for a gripping storyline: they’re gonna grudgingly go through the motions of doing mercenary stuff because fuck it. I know, I’m on the edge of my seat too… zzz…
You might’ve picked up that I’m not terribly impressed with Greg Rucka and Leandro Fernandez’s new Image series! But then I’m not sure who would be or by what. We have one-dimensional, unlikeable, forgettable characters, a pointless story and an overall unappealing weary tone (which made me feel as jaded as the characters behaved) to match the generic action scenes that fill up most of the book. I mean, there’s nothing exciting or tense about having invincible characters in a gunfight but there are numerous scenes where our heroes go up against nameless guards with guns, get shot at, shoot back, and carry on. If it’s that easy, why even bother having these scenes in there to begin with???
Not that I care because I’m already done with this title, but the immortal powers are arbitrarily allocated and it’s completely undefined how they work and why, making the whole thing feel even more haphazardly plotted. Maybe it was the Burj Khalifa in the finale but this book read like the kind of dreary garbage Tom Cruise craps out annually nowadays (have you seen those Jack Reacher movies? Jaysis, this guy’s name used to be synonymous with quality!).
I really enjoyed Leandro Fernandez’s art which looked strikingly similar to Eduardo Risso’s but I love Risso’s art so I didn’t mind. And some of the historical flashbacks to the characters’ pasts were ok like the Crusades and the Napoleonic Wars scenes. Other than that though, The Old Guard was a bunch of old hat. I wouldn’t bother unless bland, mindless action is all you’re after.
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