Thursday, 29 January 2015

Deadpool's Art of War Review (Peter David, Scott Koblish)

Deadpool decides to write a Marvel version of Sun Tzu’s classic, The Art of War. He advises Loki on these ancient lessons which helps him finally take over Asgard and invade Earth. What that actually means in practice is that this is a generic Loki beats Thor until Thor beats Loki storyline with Deadpool popping up in the background to recite lines from The Art of War. It’s as bad as it sounds. 

It’s redundant asking why Deadpool’s in ancient China to assassinate Sun Tzu, because he’s Deadpool – he just gets around. But how was that job set up? Does he speak Chinese? If he stole the scrolls for Sun Tzu’s Art of War, wouldn’t it no longer exist? And if it no longer existed, why would he need a fresh angle to make it work instead of just publishing it with Sun Tzu’s name scratched off? Why does Deadpool want a book deal anyway – he’s a world famous assassin. Doesn’t that pay more than selling a few copies of a yet another lousy Art of War knockoff? 

Why is the information in The Art of War so new to Loki – these are ancient lessons that have been studied for centuries! Unless Deadpool’s theft of the scrolls has made people forget them – but then why does everyone know about Sun Tzu and The Art of War book? And you’d have thought Loki and Thor would’ve figured out these battle strategies for themselves ages ago – theirs is a culture built upon battle! 

Loki is the Marvel Universe’s trickiest, most cunning character yet he’s easily outwitted by dunderhead Deadpool. Why is Loki so out of character? I can actually answer that one: because Peter David is a crap writer who couldn’t make this poorly conceived story work without a dumb Loki, so he wrote him out of character to make it fit. But why are Loki’s goals so banal? “Ruler of the world”, etc. Yawn. Why are Odin and Thor so out of character? See answer to same question about Loki. 

There’s so little to enjoy in this bland story that Peter David literally copy and pastes a scene from The Avengers movie – the Hulk/Loki ragdoll scene, complete with the “Puny God” remark – as if hoping that fond memories of that well-received movie will make readers like this tripe. It doesn’t work, it just made me dislike this comic even more for being so unimaginative. 

The covers to the series were good. That’s all I’ll give this nonsense.

Not that the many Deadpool miniseries that have come out in the last couple years have been masterpieces, but they’re usually somewhat entertaining and even a bit funny at times. Not this one. This is one too many. The Art of War is the worst of the bunch. Horribly boring, lazy, derivative, artless, unfunny rubbish. Awful, awful work, Peter David. I’m actually offended at how shallow, lazy, and poorly put-together this book was. It screams “soulless product”, knocked out to make a profit and move on. Up yours, Marvel.

I hear Deadpool is this year’s pointless superhero death and, given that crap like this is being published in his name, I’d say the end can’t come soon enough.

Deadpool's Art of War

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