Batman and the blimmin monster men. If I’d known that’s what The Bat-Man: First Knight was, I never would’ve picked it up. Well, in for a penny, etc. so I pushed through once I realised what it was and, yup, this retelling is about as good as the others, ie. gahbage, see?
I’ve been a fan of Jason Aaron’s since the Vertigo days of The Other Side and Scalped, before he went to Marvel and did great work there for many years. His Punisher is as good as Garth Ennis’ - which is really saying something because Ennis’ Punisher is the definitive run on that character.
Ever wonder what if Batman were built like an anime tough guy with umbrellas for hands? And what if Alfred was The Punisher? No money, no gadgets, no Robin - no problem. It’s time to get alternative universe-y with Absolute Batman!
Autobots continue resurrecting each other slowly as they gather more Energon - but will the returning comrades forgive Optimus for something that happened way back whenever… In the wake of Starscream’s failure, Soundwave takes control of the Decepticons so they can… bring back their spaceship to steal all the fishies out of the ocean?!
Athena Liu is a literary superstar - her sort-of-friend June Hayward is not. But after a girls’ night out goes wrong and Athena lies dead, June decides to swipe Athena’s latest manuscript - and pass it off as her own! Suddenly June’s life is transformed as she gets to experience the accolades that Athena did. But will her secret be kept… and is Athena somehow still alive?
Cobra Commander gives weapons dealer Destro some Energon to make his Battle Android Troopers (BATs) work - who then immediately uses his new robot army to stage a coup of the nation of Darklonia! But rival gun runners want what Destro has and the metal-faced baldy has to fight for his right to party.
Alley is the latest Junji Ito horror manga collection to be reprinted (it first appeared in 2011) and it’s not up there with his best. Of the 10 stories here I only really liked 2, but luckily one of them was the longest story so it’s not as bad a read as it could’ve been.
A young Geoff Dyer became enamoured of DH Lawrence and decided that he would one day write a book about his literary hero. An older Geoff Dyer decided to realise that ambition - and then realised that that book was beyond his abilities! Out of Sheer Rage is the result of that realisation.
An antiquarian bookseller happens across an ancient scroll from the time of Jeebus that can’t be copied or photographed. And then three mysterious weirdos show up looking to acquire it - but what about the scroll makes it so valuable… and possibly dangerous?
SPOILERS
It’s the early ‘70s and Brian is a teenage artist/filmmaker whose latest film will include his crush, the red-headed Laurie, to be shot on their friend group’s hiking break in the mountains. Will he finally tell her how he feels - and how will she respond? Flying. Alien. Braaaaains. It’s Charles Burns’ latest comic!
Scarlett’s a super-duper-mega agent who does swishy martial arts guns swords stuff. She has to infiltrate a Japanese terrorist ninja group - where her bestie/girlfriend/housemate/who knows Jinx is undercover for some reason - to stop Shinobi-wannabe get a glowy sword for some reason. If you have two brain cells to rub together, this one’s not for you. But Vin Diesel fans? Welcome - the drool bucket is in your minder’s lap!
Peter and Ivan’s dad has died. The two brothers have always had a rocky relationship but without the buffer of their old duffer between them anymore, they’re gonna be ornery to one another - Irish style!
Gambit’s missing Rogue (something to do with a larger X-Men storyline happening around this time) and decides to distract himself by investigating the death of an ex in London - the latest victim of a Jack the Ripper copycat killer with a Wolverine silhouette. Couldn’t be Logan, could it? He does have blades in his hands and has a tendency to go off on one without really knowing what he’s doing. Nahhh. Anyhoo, Remy’s on the case, cher.
The elevator pitch that got my attention for this novel was “a woman falls in love with a printer” - not a person working the job of printer, but the actual office machine. Alright, that might be fun. And a similar tagline is on the cover too: “This is a story of girl meets printer.” (Hard Copy - geddit, the innuendo, hoho!) And it is that, but it’s also not much more than that - and that’s not enough for a novel.
